Archive post

Saturday, October 19th, 2030 11:36 am
serai: A kiss between Casey Connor and Zeke Tyler (CaseyZeke)
Link to my land at Archive Of Our Own:

My stories at AO3

Link to my WIP Faculty fic novel:

High Contrast

My stories range all over the map ratings-wise, so be sure you're reading something you want to read. :)

Fandoms include The Lord of the Rings, The Faculty, Star Trek (TOS and AOS), and Penny Dreadful.



Friday, July 1st, 2016 01:08 pm
serai: A kiss between Casey Connor and Zeke Tyler (Tremble)
Just want you all to know that I am still turning that E/C/Z idea around in my head. I think it could be something really interesting, a challenge. Unfortunately, I'm impeded by my lingering sadness and sense of betrayal at having Ethan snatched away like that.** But I am trying! At the moment, I'm just sort of "dreaming with it", as Robert Duvall calls his process of preparing a character. I let it drift in and out of my head when it wants, and examine it. It seems pretty, though I don't know what it is, and hypnotic. It tastes strongly of absinthe, and if it ever incarnates, I think it'll be very fun to write. I can give you this, though, as a little taste. The one thing I'm sure of, and that's the title:


**(You know, if it turns out Logan has forced my fucking hand into doing his goddamn job for him and writing the entire goddamn fucking story the way it should have been told in the first place, I will bitchslap him into the next century. Should I ever get the chance.)

(no subject)

Friday, May 13th, 2016 12:07 am
serai: A kiss between Casey Connor and Zeke Tyler (Dark&StormyNight)
So has anybody here ever been in a snowstorm?

I've got a character high up in a building, looking out at night during a snowstorm. I've never seen that, so I'm not sure what it would look like. Visibility? Would anything be visible, or just a big mass of... grey? white? The view is of a very big lake - would it be there, or would it be impossible to see that far?

I just need to know enough to spin out from, but I do want to write it so it makes sense and doesn't sound like, well, like I've never been in a fucking snowstorm, for starters. LOL.



Saturday, February 13th, 2016 06:06 pm
serai: A kiss between Casey Connor and Zeke Tyler (CaseyZeke)
Okay, back now. Sorry about the freakout, but you guys are really the only people in my life I can cry to. Pathetic, I know. Thanks to those of you who were so kind about it. HUGS BACK

Since then:


2) I got weed poisoning on Thursday night. I was sitting at my computer, watching a movie and toking the way I usually do, which is taking a hit or two maybe every twenty minutes or so until I'm at just the right level. Usually when I smoke too much, I just end up falling asleep in my chair and then waking up and going off to bed, but this time... hoo, boy. After just a few tokes, I got hit with a MASSIVE wave of dizziness and nausea. Nearly fell out of the chair and ended up crawling to the bathroom, where I threw up a few times and then slept curled up next to the toilet, because I couldn't get up from the dizziness. I'm still feeling a bit of it - the dizziness, that is - but it's passing. I've only been able to eat some slices of whole wheat bread and drink seltzer, but I had a fruit smoothie today and I'm almost back to normal now. Gods, that was awful. The only other time that happened to me was a couple of years ago when I took a Vicodin for my shoulder and forgot to eat first. NIGHTMARE TIME.

3) I can't write that story I mentioned. It's just much too close to my emotions at the moment and far too painful for me to actually enter it now. I'm still taking notes, and want to wait until I get some distance before I try to write it, mostly because of the pain but also because I'm not completely certain it's actually a good story - it may just be a scream I need to scream. It's hard to tell for me, because so many of my stories come out of my own life and emotions, are ways to express things I'm feeling or grappling with in real life. But no, this one has to wait awhile. It's okay, though, because like I said earlier, it's a one-off, not part of High Contrast, so letting it go for a time won't affect anything else I'm writing.


5) Looking forward to John Oliver coming back tomorrow night. Anyone seen Samantha Bee's new show? She is SO awesome, and she's having a fucking great time with this. And MAN, is she vicious - it's utterly glorious. I think I may be crushing on her now that she's doing her own thing and not that Fox News Bunny character that she did on TDS, which was a wonderful caricature, but I didn't like her much. She's so much better as herself. <3 <3 <3

6) Drum Tao was on Stephen's show the other night. I have such intense desire to see these guys live. They'll be here in March, but I haven't got the money or anyone to go with. *sigh* Maybe someday...

Fullscreen that puppy and TURN IT UP TO ELEVEN.

7) I'm tired of writing angst. Somebody give me a prompt I can mess around with to take the taste of tears out of my mouth.




Thursday, January 21st, 2016 01:39 pm
serai: A kiss between Casey Connor and Zeke Tyler (CaseyZeke)
Still amused to see that Erik, that little fic I wrote a couple of months back which is really just a bit of connective tissue binding one chapter to another, is up to 225 hits, over FIVE times as much as the next most-hit of my Z/C output. No kudos, of course. I wouldn't expect any, since it's not really a story, just a bit of opinion from an outlying character.

But even with me posting a disclaimer at the TOP of the fic saying it's just a chapter and won't make sense unless you read at least some of the rest - even with that, people still don't seem interested in what that little bit is a part of. They read it, but then they don't read anything else, so I wonder what they think of the thing.

I'd really love to know where they're finding it, or who's passing the link around. It's not that it's not explicit, and it's not that it has no relationship listed - I have others parts of the story like that, but they don't get even a portion as many hits as that one has. Curioser and curioser.


Tig alert!

Monday, January 18th, 2016 03:59 pm
serai: A kiss between Casey Connor and Zeke Tyler (VincentReading)
Here's something fun: Wil WHEAton is weirded out about this photo, and has asked his readers to explain it:

What's this guy's story?

You get 150 words to talk about the guy in that photo. At first, I thought, "What's the problem? He doesn't seem strange to me." But then I looked again, and got a little chime, and wrote a squib. Fun!

So take a look and jump in if you feel like it. :)

Ah, that was fun

Thursday, January 14th, 2016 11:46 pm
serai: A kiss between Casey Connor and Zeke Tyler (CaseyZeke)
I think I've got something pretty good here. But it's late, so I'm going to have a quick bite and then go off to bed. I'll edit and post tomorrow.

Sweet dreams!

Come out, you.

Thursday, January 14th, 2016 05:58 pm
serai: A kiss between Casey Connor and Zeke Tyler (CaseyZeke)
So after I got back from the dispensary last night with a gram of a new strain (Black Diesel, very tasty), I had a smoke and decided to try and tackle that plot bunny image that's been gnawing at me. It's very strange writing such a different version of these characters. What they're dealing with in this story is very much not the shit they're dealing with in High Contrast.

I'm dithering a bit about the structure, though, so I may be asking for a beta to get another pair of eyes on it.

What fun. :)

serai: A kiss between Casey Connor and Zeke Tyler (CaseyZeke)
I'm being tormented by an almost unbearably sexy image of Zeke and Casey (fully clothed, mind you) that I have no idea how to write about. The image exists several years after the events of the film, and it's just blowing my socks off. But these are two very different guys than the ones that have inhabited my stories so far, with very different emotional and even physical presences. It's seriously weird. I feel like one of those old-fashioned pressure cookers, with this thing spinning around that can't find a way out. HEADDESK.

Suggestions? Anybody got any ideas how I can shake this thing loose?



Thursday, December 10th, 2015 11:01 am
serai: A kiss between Casey Connor and Zeke Tyler (Yule Frodo)
Oy, I'm SO crap at doing things in plenty of time...

Nevertheless, I'm getting to the holiday stuff, so if anyone would like a card, please leave a screened comment with your address, or you can PM me with it. I'll get them in the mail this week.

In other news... )

Lovely Fro

Sunday, November 29th, 2015 11:36 am
serai: A kiss between Casey Connor and Zeke Tyler (TakeMe)
Hhhokay. So.

When I went to DuckDuckGo to find the right pic of Elijah for my Thanksgiving post yesterday, I came across this:

and stopped dead in my tracks. I've never seen this pic before. Isn't it lovely?


In other news... )
serai: A kiss between Casey Connor and Zeke Tyler (Writer)
Here's another great writing tool, courtesy of Metafilter:

Writing Exercises from John Gardner's The Art of Fiction

A series of hard-core writing exercises to help you sharpen up your skills as a storyteller. I call them hard-core because they're very focused and no-nonsense. Here's the first one:

1. Write the paragraph that would appear in a piece of fiction just before the discovery of a body. You might perhaps describe the character’s approach to the body he will find, or the location, or both. The purpose of the exercise is to develop the technique of at once attracting the reader toward the paragraph to follow, making him want to skip ahead, and holding him on this paragraph by virtue of its interest. Without the ability to write such foreplay paragraphs, one can never achieve real suspense.

They're all like that - do exactly this, and here's why you should do it. They're all intriguing exercises, at least to me, because they isolate specific things that are key to good storytelling and give you ways to work on those things. Not areas, mind you. Things. I really like that, the one-pointedness of the prompts, as well as the insistence on focus and outcome. (Each of them leaves you with this implication of "and don't fuck around" that amuses me. I keep envisioning Sister Mary Ignatius, with her imperious glare and her long ruler, waiting for us to take our seats. Anne Bancroft really should have played that role, alas. But I digress.)

Anyway, I think this is another great thing to put in one's bookmarks. It's the kind of thing that's great for writer's block too, of course. Enjoy! :)

serai: A kiss between Casey Connor and Zeke Tyler (Dark&StormyNight)
Ever wish for an app that would just throw story ideas at you? Well, here's the next best thing:

Magic Realism Bot

That's a wonderful twitter feed for a bot that culls and aggregates the plots of magic realism stories. It tweets one every two hours. Some great examples:

A hermit finds a mirror which reflects insanity.

During a solar eclipse all the stars are replaced by birth.

A Maltese viceroy builds a Coliseum made of emeralds.

A medieval book describes a world where everything is made of sadness.

There is a storm in China. It rains eyes.

...and so on. Lots of little idea flashes in there, so I think it's worth bookmarking for when nothing is tickling the old writing bone. :)


(no subject)

Sunday, November 8th, 2015 07:01 pm
serai: Casey Connor (Casey)
Jesus, Casey is dragging my heart through the fire. Goddamn, haven't these boys ever been happy?
serai: A kiss between Casey Connor and Zeke Tyler (KermitFlail)
YES. I've just finished my fic for [ profile] aliensouldream's Halloween challenge. Nice to work on a one-off challenge again. I don't have a great talent for Scary, but I think I made a decent showing, so we'll see if it creeps anyone else out.

What fun! \O/

ETA: Anybody know if or how we're supposed to indicate the story is for this challenge? Subject line or just note it before the body of the fic?


Friday, October 23rd, 2015 01:39 pm
serai: A kiss between Casey Connor and Zeke Tyler (CaseyZeke)
So, still wrestling with Zeke about that chapter - it's slow in coming. I'm getting a tad impatient with this idea of holding chapters back, frankly, because I keep getting little flashes of ideas that could become full chapters, but am losing the impetus because that makes it look like it's going to take longer to write this thing than I thought, and I've discovered I'm crap at continuing without outside encouragement. So I've decided to start posting stuff I already have written, at least the parts that aren't already marked for inclusion at a specific point. This thing is pretty tumbled and jumbled in its structure anyway, and having them pile up is starting to interfere with my sense of how to release them. So what the hell.

One thing I've been concerned with is placement in the timeline. Since the chapters do bounce back and forth time-wise, I've been trying to write in details or mentions that clarify when the bits are happening (weather being the most obvious way to do it since Ohio is a part of the country that has pronounced seasonal changes). But I'm wondering if it's a strain to try and guess the time placement as a reader. Opinions? I'm thinking I should just include a month/year indicator at the beginning of each chapter to make things easier. It wouldn't bother me to do so. It just hadn't occurred to me before. What do you guys think?

P.S. I do want to give a shout-out and OMG THANKS to [ profile] danae_b and [ profile] aliensouldream, who've done some pre-reading and given me pats before posting some of what's gone up (and what's coming). It's really helped to make sure I'm not stepping on my own toes or writing anything completely WTFRUDOING?? Love and hugs!

Oh, baby

Tuesday, October 20th, 2015 06:05 pm
serai: A kiss between Casey Connor and Zeke Tyler (CaseyZeke)
I'm working on what I'm pretty sure is the next chapter of High Contrast, and so am understandably eager to get it finished. But Zeke has once again gone quiet, but it's a different reason this time: shyness. Something deep happens here, and he's head-ducking shy about telling it to me in detail. I think it's a vulnerability issue, which is kind of an enormous thing with him, you know. I keep trying to catch it, and it keeps sliding off to the side out of sight. He keeps looking down, looking away, rubbing his forehead. It's all deeply sweet, but also frustrating as hell.

Ah, my boys. *sigh*


Thursday, October 15th, 2015 10:49 pm
serai: A kiss between Casey Connor and Zeke Tyler (CaseyZeke)
How interesting.

I just popped over to AO3 to look at my stats, and found something interesting: among all the chapters of High Contrast that I've posted, the last one I put up - Erik - has gotten the highest number of page at least double. It's up to 74, but the highest any of the others has gotten has been around 30.

I wonder why? There's nothing terribly extraordinary about that fic, it's really a piece of connective tissue rather than a story in itself. [ETA: (And there's no sex in it, so it can't be that.) I mean, something is getting people to read this fic, but I can't figure out what, LOL. Is there some kind of C/Z feed out there I've never heard about? Did my C/Z break some kind of tipping point somewhere? Is it the LACK of sex? Unanswerable questions, ARGH LOL.]

So I'm really curious to know how people hear about fics up at AO3, because I've been puzzled by how the hits shake out over there. The piece I've posted that's counted up the most readings has been Bargain, a drabble I wrote back in '03 when I first started on LJ, and the only thing I've ever written off Pirates of the Caribbean. (Though I must admit it was pretty good, I'm surprised it's up to over 500 hits now.) After that, a slash fic I wrote off the Star Trek reboot, and then that Hawaii Five-O thing. It's odd the way these things go, isn't it? Just can't predict what people will like!



Thursday, October 15th, 2015 10:49 am
serai: A kiss between Casey Connor and Zeke Tyler (CaseyZeke)
Halle-fucking-lujah. FINALLY.

THANK YOU, Goddess.

*hugs her boy* Come here, baby. Tell me all about it. Mmmm...

*shuts the door*

(Anybody here ever been to Ohio? Or know much about it? I have a couple of questions...)
serai: A kiss between Casey Connor and Zeke Tyler (CaseyZeke)
I've been having some trouble reconciling my story lately, and the trouble almost all has to do with silence. As it's gone on, I've been more and more unsure about the silence between them. How can people feel so fucking much and never say anything? Anything about what they're feeling, I mean. I was starting to get really kinda nervous and unsure about this aspect of High Contrast, when I read this:

There are layers of pain and mistrust and betrayal that keep all of us so far away from saying simple things of love and belonging.

-- Richard Gere

That's Gere talking about his latest film, in which he plays a homeless man. In the quote, he's talking about a scene where his character visits the estranged daughter he never sees much, and how they just sit around and don't say all the things they must and want to say.

And that kinda did it for me. When I read that, I became re-connected to all the times in my life when I've wanted, needed, absolutely had to say the thing that was hurting and tearing me apart, and couldn't do it. I remembered a day when a friend of mine said something that hurt my feelings, and I couldn't say anything to her for maybe an hour, because my mother taught me by example the virtues of the Nasty Silent Treatment, and I ended up being UNABLE to speak in situations like that, even though I was thinking right then and there that I really, really wanted to say something. BUT I COULDN'T. Really. It was like tape was over my mouth - I was physically unable to speak.

The things that happen in childhood, in adolescence, shape us far, far more than we are ever aware. Sembene was right - the past is not past. It's who we are. Eugene Hutz said it perfectly, "The past is always living right on the side of us."

These boys are struggling with their pasts, which have scarred them so much they can't say the things they need to say. They quite literally can't, and up til now I'd forgotten why or how that could be true.

Fear and mistrust and betrayal, all things they've both had intimate knowledge of. No wonder they can't be happy, either together or apart. *hugging my boys*

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