ext_6812 ([identity profile] strangerian.livejournal.com) wrote in [personal profile] serai 2004-08-01 11:24 am (UTC)

odd and even thoughts

the second on has a pattern that wobbles, plus an extra line

I'd defend the "extra line" there as a comment (or title?) on the sonnet, part of the whole even if not part of the sonnet itself.

Beyond that, the only sonnets I'm familiar with are Shakespeare's, and skewed rhymes from words that have changed pronunciation for the modern ear (I haven't gone into Elizabethan language enough to check if they might have been dodgy for Shakespeare's ear) are easy to accept in sonnets and rhyme-formed poetry generally. If the poem successfully encapsulates a thought, it works. The rhymes and rhythms hold the language together: the "capsule" more than the thought.

Well, now, *there's* a strained metaphor.

But, these are fun to read.

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