*sigh*

[serai]

A few months ago, I made the decision to clear out some of my friends list, and to start friends-locking my non-fic journal entries. This came about for a few reasons, but mostly because Real Life had dealt me a blow which brought into sharp relief what some might think was an obvious thing - that I had been wasting my time with a lot of online drama which was...well, a waste of my time. I made myself a vow that I would go back to doing what I'd come to LJ for; namely, reading and writing fic. And that I would not take part in any more personal and/or wanky crap.

Well, now I find that I've slid right back into that whole morass again. It's happened a little at a time, which is how a downhill slide usually takes place, innit? But last night I found myself getting very upset over some really ugly remarks I read, stuff that deeply offended and hurt me. Now, the gods only know why I would be surprised at coming across what I came across, after so many years of hearing just such shite from people who think there's nothing wrong with being as abusive as they like just because it's what they feel about a subject. But it did upset me, and as those of you who know me know, when I get upset, I get upset. I responded, but the whole thing was so disquieting that I haven't read the combacks that were posted, and I honestly don't think I will. Anger was my first response, but this morning it's just turned into sadness (though with some anger still present), and if I keep thinking about it, it'll spiral into depression, which would not be productive as this point.

So what started as the impulse to post an angry, snarky, fangs-bared rant, and changed into the impulse to post a sad, lamenting rant detailing my history on the subject in general, has become this - a post about how I'm getting pretty damned tired of LJ drama, of people being nasty without really knowing what they're talking about, of having to listen to people berating and insulting my beliefs simply because their beliefs have the upper hand and that somehow gives them the right to be nasty, and of wasting my time with crap that once again has nothing to do with my real life and the things that actually have an impact on me. How does this keep happening? I think I'm just too easily distracted.

So once again, I'm backing off. I probably won't do any friends-list action, simply because I'm not feeling like I have time to think about who I want to dump and who I don't. But I will be changing my reading filters over the next few days. The Desiderata advises us to avoid vexacious persons, and I think that's a pretty good piece of advice. So from now on, I won't be reading the posts of anybody who comes off with a view that I dislike. Sorry, but I don't have either the time or the energy to give anymore. And I do not have the slightest desire to go through that kind of upset again, ESPECIALLY resulting from the opinions of people whom I don't know, and whom I clearly would not gain any advantage from knowing. If bigotry, closemindedness and nastiness can bubble to the surface like that unexpectedly, then I'm not going to expose myself to the breeding ground. Swamp gas makes me bilious.

That is all.


ETA: rubynye has posted a very charming fic, which uses some English folk lyrics that I posted a few months ago, and which has cheered me up considerable. Please go read it, as it's quite delightful and yay! for hobbitpiles! Meanwhile, I'm gonna try and take a nap, as I have a late tarot gig tonight which will bring me lots of money and for which I must be sharp. :)

Comments

[rabidsamfan.livejournal.com]

You're a better man than I am, Gunga Din!

I try not to get wrapped up in stuff, but I post things late at night sometimes and the censors are off. *sigh* And being a person who works with teenagers makes me pretty pretentious, too.

Oh, well. The fic is the best stuff, right? Maybe you can filter your default reading list down a bit and it will ease the pain.

[rubynye.livejournal.com]

I'm glad I picked today to post that story; it sounds like it was needed. :) Thank you again for the songs.

We're not in this for the bullshit, you know? Do what you need to do to take care of yourself, and nolite te bastardes carborundorum. :D *big hug*

[blackbird-song.livejournal.com]

I am so sorry that you have had to deal with all of this, and I certainly understand why you would not wish to deal with views of the type you describe. I find that enormously unsettling, as well, and almost always leave such a post as quickly as possible when I find one. LJ should be a haven, of sorts, if you want it to be. (This is, after all, your journal and your spare time.)

Please do not hesitate to tell me, though, if anything I say ever strikes you in such an unpleasant way. I really want to know, and I promise I'll listen. (I can certainly have my knuckleheaded moments!)

Catherine

[elasg.livejournal.com]

Oddly enough, and contrary to popular belief, I find it is only people who have never really been abused who do the most abusing of others. Those who have know what it is like too well and don't tend to treat others as that way.

I don't know the mess of which you speak (I avoid those types of sites) but I've occasionally slid into the morass too and it took getting hurt badly to teach me to avoid such crap completely. Mature, intelligent people who are secure in their own opinions will respect yours whether they agree with them or not. Those who flame or give you grief are the ones who are too insecure in their own positions to suffer an intelligent opposing view.

where to begin...

[goldberry-b.livejournal.com]

**hugs**

hon you are getting so wise, its not worth your time and breaking your heart over folks who don't care.. not when there are so many who do!!!

its only natural to fall into those discussions when you have such a curious nature and open outlook about spirituallity

you are one of the first people I ever could honestly talk to about religion, and because of YOU I started having some faith that some like minded people might be out there after all.. and I found the UU church which has been so wonderful (as POG said "you found your people!!")

actually I just signed up for the pagan study group :)

so I thank you for that.. don't feel like you haven't touched people, or opened some hearts because thats just not true

you are so damn smart and strong, don't be afraid of walking away from shit like that.. its not weakness- its preserving your energy for things in life that truly matter

(great news about the tarot job!! that sounds fun!)