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A few months ago, I made the decision to clear out some of my friends list, and to start friends-locking my non-fic journal entries. This came about for a few reasons, but mostly because Real Life had dealt me a blow which brought into sharp relief what some might think was an obvious thing - that I had been wasting my time with a lot of online drama which was...well, a waste of my time. I made myself a vow that I would go back to doing what I'd come to LJ for; namely, reading and writing fic. And that I would not take part in any more personal and/or wanky crap.
Well, now I find that I've slid right back into that whole morass again. It's happened a little at a time, which is how a downhill slide usually takes place, innit? But last night I found myself getting very upset over some really ugly remarks I read, stuff that deeply offended and hurt me. Now, the gods only know why I would be surprised at coming across what I came across, after so many years of hearing just such shite from people who think there's nothing wrong with being as abusive as they like just because it's what they feel about a subject. But it did upset me, and as those of you who know me know, when I get upset, I get upset. I responded, but the whole thing was so disquieting that I haven't read the combacks that were posted, and I honestly don't think I will. Anger was my first response, but this morning it's just turned into sadness (though with some anger still present), and if I keep thinking about it, it'll spiral into depression, which would not be productive as this point.
So what started as the impulse to post an angry, snarky, fangs-bared rant, and changed into the impulse to post a sad, lamenting rant detailing my history on the subject in general, has become this - a post about how I'm getting pretty damned tired of LJ drama, of people being nasty without really knowing what they're talking about, of having to listen to people berating and insulting my beliefs simply because their beliefs have the upper hand and that somehow gives them the right to be nasty, and of wasting my time with crap that once again has nothing to do with my real life and the things that actually have an impact on me. How does this keep happening? I think I'm just too easily distracted.
So once again, I'm backing off. I probably won't do any friends-list action, simply because I'm not feeling like I have time to think about who I want to dump and who I don't. But I will be changing my reading filters over the next few days. The Desiderata advises us to avoid vexacious persons, and I think that's a pretty good piece of advice. So from now on, I won't be reading the posts of anybody who comes off with a view that I dislike. Sorry, but I don't have either the time or the energy to give anymore. And I do not have the slightest desire to go through that kind of upset again, ESPECIALLY resulting from the opinions of people whom I don't know, and whom I clearly would not gain any advantage from knowing. If bigotry, closemindedness and nastiness can bubble to the surface like that unexpectedly, then I'm not going to expose myself to the breeding ground. Swamp gas makes me bilious.
That is all.
ETA:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
rubynye has posted a very charming fic, which uses some English folk lyrics that I posted a few months ago, and which has cheered me up considerable. Please go read it, as it's quite delightful and yay! for hobbitpiles! Meanwhile, I'm gonna try and take a nap, as I have a late tarot gig tonight which will bring me lots of money and for which I must be sharp. :)
Well, now I find that I've slid right back into that whole morass again. It's happened a little at a time, which is how a downhill slide usually takes place, innit? But last night I found myself getting very upset over some really ugly remarks I read, stuff that deeply offended and hurt me. Now, the gods only know why I would be surprised at coming across what I came across, after so many years of hearing just such shite from people who think there's nothing wrong with being as abusive as they like just because it's what they feel about a subject. But it did upset me, and as those of you who know me know, when I get upset, I get upset. I responded, but the whole thing was so disquieting that I haven't read the combacks that were posted, and I honestly don't think I will. Anger was my first response, but this morning it's just turned into sadness (though with some anger still present), and if I keep thinking about it, it'll spiral into depression, which would not be productive as this point.
So what started as the impulse to post an angry, snarky, fangs-bared rant, and changed into the impulse to post a sad, lamenting rant detailing my history on the subject in general, has become this - a post about how I'm getting pretty damned tired of LJ drama, of people being nasty without really knowing what they're talking about, of having to listen to people berating and insulting my beliefs simply because their beliefs have the upper hand and that somehow gives them the right to be nasty, and of wasting my time with crap that once again has nothing to do with my real life and the things that actually have an impact on me. How does this keep happening? I think I'm just too easily distracted.
So once again, I'm backing off. I probably won't do any friends-list action, simply because I'm not feeling like I have time to think about who I want to dump and who I don't. But I will be changing my reading filters over the next few days. The Desiderata advises us to avoid vexacious persons, and I think that's a pretty good piece of advice. So from now on, I won't be reading the posts of anybody who comes off with a view that I dislike. Sorry, but I don't have either the time or the energy to give anymore. And I do not have the slightest desire to go through that kind of upset again, ESPECIALLY resulting from the opinions of people whom I don't know, and whom I clearly would not gain any advantage from knowing. If bigotry, closemindedness and nastiness can bubble to the surface like that unexpectedly, then I'm not going to expose myself to the breeding ground. Swamp gas makes me bilious.
That is all.
ETA:
rubynye has posted a very charming fic, which uses some English folk lyrics that I posted a few months ago, and which has cheered me up considerable. Please go read it, as it's quite delightful and yay! for hobbitpiles! Meanwhile, I'm gonna try and take a nap, as I have a late tarot gig tonight which will bring me lots of money and for which I must be sharp. :)
