I've come to a place of peace with these films (mostly) by seeing them simply as different tellings of the same mythology. My love of the Greek myths has led me to read many different versions of them, and it's amazing how much variation can happen within the same story. I have no problem with a teller changing aspects of a tale, so long as the changes fit within the tale itself. The whole idea of creating a world, where you can do what you like so long as you obey the rules you set down. Which, by the way, Tolkien didn't always do. As pure storytelling, PJ's version is actually truer than Tolkien's original, as PJ didn't have the characters going against their own natures as he's established them nearly as often as Tolkien did. (See my above comments about Weathertop.)

Scripts, yes. It's not only how much an actor has to bring to the script, but how incredibly varied the things an actor brings can be. Every line can be said countless different ways, ranging all over the emotional map, which is why reciting the alphabet in ten different emotional states is a standard acting school exercise. When Frodo pulled Sam out of the lake, their scene could just as easily have been played as one of angry exasperation and cowed apology, which is certainly one legitimate way of reading the scene in the book. PJ and Co's version of this story is one way of telling it, their way, and I think a damn fine one. Somebody else will come along eventually and tell it another way. And we'll have all these arguments again! :)