Gandalf the Rather Pricey
Saturday, November 25th, 2006 10:31 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
seraiIn the category of Interesting LOTR Movie Info:
Seems that when Sean Connery turned down the role of Gandalf, he also turned down the biggest acting paycheck in history.
Check out those numbers. Who knew being a wizard could be that cush?
Merry and Pippin glared up at the wizard suspiciously. "Two hundred and twenty-five million," Merry growled.
Gandalf's eyebrows knit together. "Yes, more or less," he answered, then blew a smoke ring. Merry batted it aside.
"How much is that in silver pennies?" Pippin asked Merry.
"More than any of us'll ever see, I warrant," Sam flared. Frodo stood next to him, arms crossed (his right hand conspicuously showing) and lips pressed tight. He'd let Sam do the talking here, he thought.
Sam obliged. "I know it's not my place to ask, Mr. Gandalf," he went on, "but seein' as how your job pays so well, just what did you need Mr. Frodo for? With all that gold, seems to me you could'a bought yourself a fine army to go stormin' the Black Land, and left my master in peace where he belonged!"
Gandalf pulled his pipe from his lips and frowned at the angry faces. "My dear hobbits," he scolded. "Being country folk as you are, you clearly know nothing of how these things are done. The revenue from a back-end deal can take years to sort out, which is why such numbers can be deceiving. I had to take whatever funding I could get, and Imladris Productions was already spread thin, what with the breakup of White Council Pictures, and the losses on the Rangers and their backwoods DIY indies. We barely had enough to bankroll a Fellowship of nine; we were lucky the dwarf agreed to work for scale."
"Don't talk down to me, you Maian ponce," Merry snapped. Pippin squeaked, while Sam smirked and Frodo just covered his eyes. "I may be just a hobbit, but my people were drawing up contracts when you were still in...um, well no, they weren't," Merry ran out of steam for a moment, then resumed with vigor, "But we've been at it a bloody long time. You could have found other sources. Don't you have contacts abroad? What about all that Easterling money? We've heard a couple of you lot went out that way."
Frodo had never seen Gandalf turn red before, but now he was approaching quite a ripe shade. You see something new every day, he thought.
"Watch your tongue, Brandybuck," the wizard thundered at Merry, "or I'll..."
"What?" Merry asked. To Mithrandir's extreme annoyance, the hobbit remained resolutely unthundered. "You'll what? Make sure I never work in this town again? Psh!" Merry threw up his hands. "As if I'd want to stay here, as if any of us would want to work here amongst you longshank power players!" He turned to Pippin.
"Come on, Pip," Merry said with an air of disgust, and turned towards the door. "It's back to community theater for us!" Pippin fell in beside him. Frodo joined them, as did Sam, after a moment of looking like he had more to say and then thought better of it. As the door was closing, the wizard heard Pippin's voice from the hallway, "I told you we should have signed with Kevin Huvane..."
Gandalf took up his pipe again and smoked, puffing out three squares of smoke and a triangle. "Hmpf," he muttered under his breath. "Bloody SAG contracts."
Seems that when Sean Connery turned down the role of Gandalf, he also turned down the biggest acting paycheck in history.
Check out those numbers. Who knew being a wizard could be that cush?
Merry and Pippin glared up at the wizard suspiciously. "Two hundred and twenty-five million," Merry growled.
Gandalf's eyebrows knit together. "Yes, more or less," he answered, then blew a smoke ring. Merry batted it aside.
"How much is that in silver pennies?" Pippin asked Merry.
"More than any of us'll ever see, I warrant," Sam flared. Frodo stood next to him, arms crossed (his right hand conspicuously showing) and lips pressed tight. He'd let Sam do the talking here, he thought.
Sam obliged. "I know it's not my place to ask, Mr. Gandalf," he went on, "but seein' as how your job pays so well, just what did you need Mr. Frodo for? With all that gold, seems to me you could'a bought yourself a fine army to go stormin' the Black Land, and left my master in peace where he belonged!"
Gandalf pulled his pipe from his lips and frowned at the angry faces. "My dear hobbits," he scolded. "Being country folk as you are, you clearly know nothing of how these things are done. The revenue from a back-end deal can take years to sort out, which is why such numbers can be deceiving. I had to take whatever funding I could get, and Imladris Productions was already spread thin, what with the breakup of White Council Pictures, and the losses on the Rangers and their backwoods DIY indies. We barely had enough to bankroll a Fellowship of nine; we were lucky the dwarf agreed to work for scale."
"Don't talk down to me, you Maian ponce," Merry snapped. Pippin squeaked, while Sam smirked and Frodo just covered his eyes. "I may be just a hobbit, but my people were drawing up contracts when you were still in...um, well no, they weren't," Merry ran out of steam for a moment, then resumed with vigor, "But we've been at it a bloody long time. You could have found other sources. Don't you have contacts abroad? What about all that Easterling money? We've heard a couple of you lot went out that way."
Frodo had never seen Gandalf turn red before, but now he was approaching quite a ripe shade. You see something new every day, he thought.
"Watch your tongue, Brandybuck," the wizard thundered at Merry, "or I'll..."
"What?" Merry asked. To Mithrandir's extreme annoyance, the hobbit remained resolutely unthundered. "You'll what? Make sure I never work in this town again? Psh!" Merry threw up his hands. "As if I'd want to stay here, as if any of us would want to work here amongst you longshank power players!" He turned to Pippin.
"Come on, Pip," Merry said with an air of disgust, and turned towards the door. "It's back to community theater for us!" Pippin fell in beside him. Frodo joined them, as did Sam, after a moment of looking like he had more to say and then thought better of it. As the door was closing, the wizard heard Pippin's voice from the hallway, "I told you we should have signed with Kevin Huvane..."
Gandalf took up his pipe again and smoked, puffing out three squares of smoke and a triangle. "Hmpf," he muttered under his breath. "Bloody SAG contracts."
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Date: Sunday, November 26th, 2006 06:46 am (UTC)Sean as Gandalf, eh? That would have made for an interesting movie. I've been reading all about the hoopla over the making of The Hobbit, and I have to wonder if we'll ever really see it on the big screen.
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Date: Sunday, November 26th, 2006 12:30 pm (UTC)But imagine the additional confusion if Connery HAD taken the role: there'd be THREE Seans in the Fellowship!
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Date: Sunday, November 26th, 2006 03:16 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: Tuesday, November 28th, 2006 04:20 am (UTC)no subject
Date: Wednesday, November 29th, 2006 05:41 am (UTC)ROFLMAO omg this is so funny!
And Sean C as Gandalf?
Hee hee *imagines him saying in that distinctive way of his "I'm Grey. Gandalf Grey."*