It is the way of things on Gor, that a slave, being beautiful, must be beautifully enslaved...

[serai]

.
weepingcock has done it again!


Gay, Bejeweled Nazi Bikers of Gor


For those of you who have not had the...pleasure... the Gor novels, by John Norman (pseudonym of a real live Harvard English professor!), are a series of hideously written scifi-fantasy novels about an "alternate Earth" called Gor, in which manly men, who are manly because they know the True Way of Things, that way being the way that allows them to be manly, unlike the unmanly men of Earth who are definitely NOT manly, or men, but are of Earth, and not of Gor...where was I? Oh yeah. The Gor novels are about the struggles of the manly populace to rule over the slaves, who are women, mostly, because it is the True Way of Things for women to be slaves, beautiful slaves. In silk. And collars. Beautiful collars, which are beautiful because they are slave collars, placed around the necks of the beautiful slaves by their manly owners...DAMMIT.

*ahem* Start again!

For those of you who have not had the pleasure, the Gor novels are exceedingly wordy books about war and sex and gender relations on a planet called Gor. THAT'S ALL.

But they really are wonderful, in that Theissian Eye of Argon way. Meaning they're actually awful, but will convulse you with laughter. Incessantly turgid, and yet strangely torpid, every page awash in this hellaciously hairy prose as purple as a ten-inch hardon. Just gloriously, self-consciously pumped up with Importance. They're collector's items now, so they don't come cheap, but if you ever see one, jump on it. They're truly worth the coin.

Oh, and the weepingcock entry linked above? Is to a parody that is utterly BRILLIANT in its evocation of Norman's...writing. Read and be choked with laughter. You'll wonder "Can the original really be this bad?" Rest assured, it can.

Oh yes. It really, really can.


P.S. In the comments is the link to Houseplants of Gor, yet another incredible parody.

Comments

[ghyste.livejournal.com]

Those parodies are wonderful.

Ah, Gor! I had a whole stack in my early teens that my mother (all unbeknowing) brought home from a jumble sale. I wonder where they are now?

[serai1.livejournal.com]

*sporfle* Little did Mom know!

His style is just ripe for parody, isn't it?

[honeyandvinegar.livejournal.com]

So. Manly, then. *goofy smile*

[serai1.livejournal.com]

Yes. Filled with manliness, which is fitting, as they are men, and masters. For it is the nature of men to be masters, and to rule over that which is slave, which is woman. Women, by their very nature, are designed to be slaves. So they kneel in submission, although they rebel in their hearts, for it is comely to rebel, but not too much, just enough to enflame a man's desire. Which is manly, as has been said.

I could go on, but you get the idea.

[kookaburra1701.livejournal.com]

Ah ha ha! I'm a dominant woman in the BDSM scene, so I get the "pleasure" of meeting people IRL who have based their LIVES around these novels. They all like to tell me that I'd be happiest being the sub, and I just need to get intouch with my "TWOO SUBBY WAYS".

No thanks, I like being on *this* side of the whip, thank you very much.

[serai1.livejournal.com]

Haha. Yeah, a gay friend of mine insisted that if you wanted to be dominant you had to be submissive first.

My laugh was loud.