Remake Hell
Friday, March 27th, 2009 11:17 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
serai.
First it was The Rocky Horror Picture Show.
Okay, I can sort of see why MTV'd want to remake that. Lots of music, dancing and kinky sex. Although I fully expect them to water it down, because let's face it, these days the media has an allergy to the kind of thing that RHPS so enthusiastically celebrated.
Then it was The Prisoner.
This one rankles me more. Hollywood has this bizarre notion that if you take something old and repackage it in shiny paper, somehow it'll be "better". But the problem is that slapping some CGI on a thing doesn't make it better; often the new style of FX actually ruins a story. In this case, the gods only know what computer-generated idiocy they'll come up with to replace that...white ball. There's no way they'll ever be able to top the fucking NIGHTMARES that thing gave me, and it wasn't even a special effect! It was just a goddamn rubber ball! A perfect example of imagination trumping big bucks, an idea that passed Hollywood by decades ago.
(Alright, it's going to have McKellen in it. But I'm sorry, that's not enough to make up for the STUPID idea of remaking it in the first place. Don't get me started on Jim "Messiah Complex" Caviezel, either...)
But this fucking beats them all.
The Three Stooges? Really?
I mean, I know the Farrelly Brothers are hacks who make their money off poop and fart jokes (without even the articulate snark of a Kevin Smith for balance), but this is just pathetic. How in the WORLD could anyone imagine this could work, given that the original series of shorts were created for an act that had already earned their name on the stage as vaudevillians? In other words, they weren't actors played scripted roles - they were comedians who'd developed their own characters which were then accommodated in the scripts they created for their short subjects. The idea of casting other guys to play them is...beyond moronic. Christ on a cracker, what next? The Tale of the Lonely Repairman, starring that Maytag guy?
Hey, Hollywood! If you're going to make silly movies based on old entertainment characters, how about a film version of The Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers? I know a whole LOT of people who'd love to see that one. You could get Seth Rogen to play Fat Freedie, Jeff Goldblum to play Phineas, and Sam Elliott to play Freewheelin' Franklin. (He's got the mustache for it.) You'd have to do a talent search for Fat Freddy's Cat, but I'm sure there's an unknonwn out there who'd ace the part.
Now, THAT I'd pay to go see.
First it was The Rocky Horror Picture Show.
Okay, I can sort of see why MTV'd want to remake that. Lots of music, dancing and kinky sex. Although I fully expect them to water it down, because let's face it, these days the media has an allergy to the kind of thing that RHPS so enthusiastically celebrated.
Then it was The Prisoner.
This one rankles me more. Hollywood has this bizarre notion that if you take something old and repackage it in shiny paper, somehow it'll be "better". But the problem is that slapping some CGI on a thing doesn't make it better; often the new style of FX actually ruins a story. In this case, the gods only know what computer-generated idiocy they'll come up with to replace that...white ball. There's no way they'll ever be able to top the fucking NIGHTMARES that thing gave me, and it wasn't even a special effect! It was just a goddamn rubber ball! A perfect example of imagination trumping big bucks, an idea that passed Hollywood by decades ago.
(Alright, it's going to have McKellen in it. But I'm sorry, that's not enough to make up for the STUPID idea of remaking it in the first place. Don't get me started on Jim "Messiah Complex" Caviezel, either...)
But this fucking beats them all.
The Three Stooges? Really?
I mean, I know the Farrelly Brothers are hacks who make their money off poop and fart jokes (without even the articulate snark of a Kevin Smith for balance), but this is just pathetic. How in the WORLD could anyone imagine this could work, given that the original series of shorts were created for an act that had already earned their name on the stage as vaudevillians? In other words, they weren't actors played scripted roles - they were comedians who'd developed their own characters which were then accommodated in the scripts they created for their short subjects. The idea of casting other guys to play them is...beyond moronic. Christ on a cracker, what next? The Tale of the Lonely Repairman, starring that Maytag guy?
Hey, Hollywood! If you're going to make silly movies based on old entertainment characters, how about a film version of The Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers? I know a whole LOT of people who'd love to see that one. You could get Seth Rogen to play Fat Freedie, Jeff Goldblum to play Phineas, and Sam Elliott to play Freewheelin' Franklin. (He's got the mustache for it.) You'd have to do a talent search for Fat Freddy's Cat, but I'm sure there's an unknonwn out there who'd ace the part.
Now, THAT I'd pay to go see.
