And that is why...

[serai]

...I don't want to watch LOTR with others. At least others whose opinions I'm not sure of. Because these films are too close to my heart and mean too much to me. It's hard enough to encounter negativity about them online. I don't think I could stand it in person. It would simply be too painful. Too much like having to listen to someone badmouthing my brother, or my lover, or my child. Nope, I'll pass, thanks.

Comments

[angharad001.livejournal.com]

I don't know if this is a continuing conversation . . . I'm reading flist backwards (again) - wanted to say you're probably right about watching with others (done it-regretted it some) but really enjoy watching with my beloved daughter-in-law who (bless her) is as besotted as I am. I'm very lucky. Hope you find someone to watch with, it's nice when it works.

[serai1.livejournal.com]

I consider myself extremely lucky that my best friend, Spike, loves the films as much as I do, and for pretty much the same reasons. She and I have very similar tastes in film and opinions on filmmaking, and aside from a few small differences on which scenes make us melt, see LOTR pretty much the same. The number of scenes that make us roll our eyes can be counted on less than one hand, and there's nothing about these films have make us angry or think of the filmmakers as less than fantastic, extremely talented individuals. It's such good fortune that when I dragged Spike and her husband to see the films (well, not exactly dragged - they were interested - but Spike had tried to read the books previously and hated them), they both fell quite in love with the movies, and immediately dived into the books and became big fans along with me. I feel like the Goddess saw my need for companionship in my blossoming LOTR-movie madness and gifted me with someone to share it with. Otherwise, I'd be lonely indeed.

[serai1.livejournal.com]

Oh, and yeah, this is a continutation from my last post, where I did a little fuming about some things that have been said about the films recently.

[zirconia-b.livejournal.com]

I've had some pretty miserable experiences watching the movies with other fans, too. (And with family. Family is actually worse; family doesn't particularly like hobbits at all.) It works both ways, too -- there are scenes I love that my friends don't, but there are also things that make them squee that make me just shrug. Watching the movie together really makes our differences clear, and leaves me feeling simply empty: not ecstatic about things I loved, or torn apart by angst, or amused by jokes. Just empty.

It's managed to leave me without any desire to watch my favorite movies any more. Depressing.

[serai1.livejournal.com]

My dad is not interested in English-language films at all, but my mom (from whom I got my love of film) quite adores the LOTR movies, and will rave about them whenever she hears anyone say they haven't seen them. However, she's not a repeater where movies are concerned, so I only got to watch them once or twice with her. It was wonderful to glance over at her in the theater and see the expressions on her face (her mouth hung open in an ecstatic grin during the entire destruction of Isengard), and it's nice to know that on this, at least, we agree wholeheartedly.

My brother and his wife have expressed interest in seeing the EEs (they missed seeing the films in the theaters), and have said they'd like me to bring them over to see on their big-screen TV. Since they aren't LOTR readers, or big film fans anyway, watching with them and dealing with their questions and opinions would be very different from watching with other fans. I have no great expectations of either of them falling in love with the films or keeping the names straight, or anything else like that. But I think they'd enjoy the films, and they know enough about my love of LOTR that they'd be kind about it and not laugh at me. (Neither of them are the sort to do that.)

But I know what you mean about the effects of dealing with other fans' disparagement and opposing opinions, for sure. The idea of watching the films with other fans and listening to criticism or teardowns on things that I think are brilliant - argh. I just can't abide the thought. I'd end up feeling empty later, but during the experience I might get angry, or feel insulted, or any number of reactions that would ruin it for me. And I REALLY don't want that to happen. During the year after 2T came out, I was hanging out at the TORn boards, and for a while that film got tainted by all the ugly negativity over there. So I learned my lesson about that.

It does wear off though, really! I can attest to that myself - after I'd been away from the negativity for a while, it got wonderful again. Give it a little time and your desire to see the films will come back. *hug*

[melawen-c.livejournal.com]

When Return of the King EE came out, I insisted to my friends that I had to watch it alone, and I'm so glad I did. It ended up being the best movie experience I've ever had- much like the first time I saw Fellowship.
There is something very personal about watching them that just doesn't work well when you try with others... which is a shame because the films are so beautiful and it'd be nice to be able to share the experience.

[serai1.livejournal.com]

I saw FOTR alone and it was wonderful. Saw 2T with a newfound line friend who was not an LOTR fan but was a geek and very kind about my squeeing - he enjoyed my reactions, actually. And Trilogy Tuesday I saw with my best friend Spike and her hubby, who are both big LOTR fans and love the films as much as I do. So I'm lucky in that my first times have all been great, with no pissiness to mar the experience. Other than that, my theater viewings have almost all been alone, and I've enjoyed them that way. It's all just too meaningful and precious to risk marring it. Maybe I'm too sensitive about these films? Oh well.

But yeah, it is a shame. *sigh*

[slipperieslope.livejournal.com]

Me, too.

[serai1.livejournal.com]

*sigh* Sucks, doesn't it?

[blackbird-song.livejournal.com]

If I'm going to see it with others, I always insist on going with people who are going to shut up during the movie and let me have my own experience of it. Then, I can talk about it afterward, if I am allowed enough time to put on my scholarly hat and carefully wall off my emotional response. I trained my husband long ago not to dare to make comments in my ear during a film, so he's generally safe. (Besides, he's a huge fan of the films, and he and I share most of the spots that make us happy or that make us not so happy.)

When you relate the criticism of the movies to the badmouthing of a loved one, I quite agree in many ways. I take the approach that every loved one has his or her flaws, some of which can drive one up a wall, and that it's O.K. to vent about those in the presence of trusted friends who also love the person (or movie) in question and won't allow the venting to become vicious or to override the love and respect. Had I not loved the movies enormously, I would never have dreamed of going to ORC!

Catherine

[hobbitlove83.livejournal.com]

I know just what you mean, Serai!
Watching any of those three movies with someone that
isn't totally in love with them would have so
much spoiled the experience for me!
Am hasting to say I don't mind some critisism,
but if the love isn't there in the first place,
just let me watch them on my own!

Which is what I did, actually, for many a time,
but now wonderful curthose and I
are planning her stay over here, and one of the
reasons I can hardly wait is to finally being
able to watch them with somebody that cares as
much as I do...

*is really looking forward*