I can feel it, Dave. I can feel it...

[serai]

My attention is wandering. I'm not feeling very interested anymore. It's been happening for a while now, and there's been nothing to stop it.

Losing fennelseed has been a big blow to my fandom interest. She's my favorite hobbit writer, the one guaranteed to get a charge and a laugh and a happy sigh from me every time. She didn't post very much at all, but just the potential of another one of her fun, raunchy tales was always one of my prime drivers. And now that's gone. (By the way, I still remember the big fucking inconsiderate asshole who drove her to lurking in the first place, and being the kind of person I am, I do NOT plan to forget or forgive. EVER. Just sayin'.)

And billthepony has deleted too. That's happened before, but who knows if we'll get any more? It's depressing. So many of the good writers are shutting up shop or wandering off to other fandoms that aren't nearly as interesting or complex. Kiddie wizards? No thanks. Men in togas? *yawn*

There's nothing happening for me. Sam is silent, and so is Frodo. I'm in that sort of gray space where there isn't any kind of fandom spark at all. I've no particular interest in watching the films. The books aren't calling me. (But then, they usually go silent for a couple of years before I get the impulse to read Tolkien again - it's always been a cycle with me.) It's all sort of habit now, rather than actual fascination. I'll keep checking around to see what's being posted (still awaiting more RoP or ASD), but for the most part, eh. I think, like undone27, I blew my wad at ORC. That did close some doors for me.

Whatever. We'll see.


POSTSCRIPT:

Oh, and a note for all you writers with LJ's.

Could you please cut it out with the LJ deleting? That's really not necessary. If you decide you're tired of the whole fandom thing, or don't have time to deal with comments, etc., you don't have to snatch all your writings away from the people who might enjoy them in the future.

All you have to do is DISCONNECT YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS. You can do it from the Edit User Info page. Then you'll never hear about any comments if you don't want to. Just leave a last post saying you're not going to post anymore, and let people enjoy your stuff. Because it's a pretty sad blow to lose someone's work just because that person is bored/tired/pissed off. Imagine if we lost every copy of Catcher in the Rye or To Kill a Mockingbird just because Salinger and Lee didn't want to write anymore. Not cool, guys. Not cool at all. Your stories are like children, so don't commit infanticide. Keep a thought for all those people who might really enjoy reading what you write even if you don't want to hear about it anymore, ok?

Comments

[serai1.livejournal.com]

Ethics? Do you mean the part about her not wanting to be famous? I could see that, but then internet issues are so easy to ignore. I mean, outside of my little flist, I have no clue whether anyone has ever talked about me online or not, nor do I care. *shrug* I'm just really sorry that she feels she has to disappear, when she could just drop all her contact info and only get as involved as she felt like getting.

[slipperieslope.livejournal.com]

OK, I am just repeating rumors third hand which is stupid and makes me uncomfortable but it was intimated to me that she was struggling with writing homoerotica secretly, unable to integrate it with her real life. The discomfort and fear of revelation, and if she was that worried about discovery, was she then ashamed of what she wrote? And then if she was ashamed was it right to be doing it at all? That is what I was told. Again third hand. A personal crisis of conscience.

[trilliah.livejournal.com]

Allow me to pass along her message:

I've taken down my pages and my LJ, and canceled my earthlink email address, not out of any great "statement," but merely to simply my life. I never wanted this fandom identity to become an industry that I had to maintain in five different places. I never wanted to be a big, well-known, debated name in the slash world. I only wanted to try my hand at writing these naughty stories, and whether or not they're ethically a good idea (considering Tolkien's own beliefs and styles, to name just one quandary) is something I have never quite resolved, so I'm more comfortable keeping them on the fringes and not in the center of anything.

It's okay that my stories are still out there on other archives. It's okay if you've saved them to your computer. And who knows, I may still crop up someday with a new one, and mail it to Shadow for West of the Moon, or to the Library of Moria. If you need to ask me anything, I can be reached at my old web-only mail address: fennelseed99@netscape.net. I might forget to check it for months at a time, though, so if you wail for me loudly enough on a message board, someone who knows other ways to reach me might pass it along.

My life is just fine; nothing is particularly wrong; and I wish everyone all the best. Be at peace, and enjoy the vast array of good stuff available to you out there for reading.

Cheers,
Fennelseed

[serai1.livejournal.com]

Oh. Hm. Well, having to hide what we write doesn't necessarily have anything to do with being ashamed. It has far more to do with not wanting to deal with the stupid crap that OTHER people would force on us were they to find out. At least that's the way I see it. There's no reason why we should have to put up with the kind of prejudiced screaming and clawing that prudes can impose on a person. And it can really ruin your life, or so I'm told. (I'm lucky that neither my friends nor my family give a flying fuck that I write slash. The most I get is rolling eyes.)