Ficlet: At the Diamond Throne
Saturday, March 22nd, 2014 02:17 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
serai.
Contemplating the death of Fred Phelps, I suddenly got this:
At the Diamond Throne
The Lord: So, Fred, you're back.
Phelps: Yes, sir.
The Lord: Let's see here...Hm, seems you did some good work.
Phelps: Well, sir, I tried. I'm afraid I didn't accomplish my mission, though.
The Lord: These things take time, Fred. Centuries of decay to clear away, you know. Your efforts were heroic. Don't think we haven't noticed. You did the best you could with what you had.
Phelps: Thank you, sir. It was difficult, though. Very painful. It was hard to see all that misery and not show compassion.
The Lord: We understand. Contrarian work is the hardest of all. That's why we choose tough old birds like you. We know you can take it.
Phelps: Thank you, sir. But I still feel I failed.
The Lord: You did NOT fail. Take a look here - homophobia is down all across the United States. Gay people are now accepted far more than they were before you arrived. Adoptions, marriage, both becoming legal, slowly but surely. Young people ever more accepting. These are good results. Like I said, it takes time.
Phelps: Yes, sir. That makes me feel better, sir.
The Lord: Now, for your next assignment...
Phelps: Oh, sir, please don't throw me back in again so soon. I was looking forward to a break, and...it's just hard hurting so many people. Can't I be kind this time?
The Lord: Don't complain, Fred. It's not worthy of an angel. You've a knack for pushing people's buttons and getting them to react, so that's what we need you to do.
Phelps: Yes, sir.
The Lord: Good lad. Now, report to the Lapis Throne. Krishna's having trouble over in India. They're going to need you there.
Phelps: Gay people again?
The Lord: Nope, untouchables. It'll be a lot tougher this time. You're going to have to get really creative. Do a good job for him and we'll see about a nice long vacation for you. By the way, did you bring me any chocolate?
Phelps: No, sir. I'm sorry, I forgot.
The Lord: Alright, run along then. Don't be so forgetful next time. Krishna expects you to bring him butter, and you know how testy he can be.
Phelps: Yes, sir.
It's all in how you look at things - Alec Bings, The Phantom Tollbooth
Contemplating the death of Fred Phelps, I suddenly got this:
At the Diamond Throne
The Lord: So, Fred, you're back.
Phelps: Yes, sir.
The Lord: Let's see here...Hm, seems you did some good work.
Phelps: Well, sir, I tried. I'm afraid I didn't accomplish my mission, though.
The Lord: These things take time, Fred. Centuries of decay to clear away, you know. Your efforts were heroic. Don't think we haven't noticed. You did the best you could with what you had.
Phelps: Thank you, sir. It was difficult, though. Very painful. It was hard to see all that misery and not show compassion.
The Lord: We understand. Contrarian work is the hardest of all. That's why we choose tough old birds like you. We know you can take it.
Phelps: Thank you, sir. But I still feel I failed.
The Lord: You did NOT fail. Take a look here - homophobia is down all across the United States. Gay people are now accepted far more than they were before you arrived. Adoptions, marriage, both becoming legal, slowly but surely. Young people ever more accepting. These are good results. Like I said, it takes time.
Phelps: Yes, sir. That makes me feel better, sir.
The Lord: Now, for your next assignment...
Phelps: Oh, sir, please don't throw me back in again so soon. I was looking forward to a break, and...it's just hard hurting so many people. Can't I be kind this time?
The Lord: Don't complain, Fred. It's not worthy of an angel. You've a knack for pushing people's buttons and getting them to react, so that's what we need you to do.
Phelps: Yes, sir.
The Lord: Good lad. Now, report to the Lapis Throne. Krishna's having trouble over in India. They're going to need you there.
Phelps: Gay people again?
The Lord: Nope, untouchables. It'll be a lot tougher this time. You're going to have to get really creative. Do a good job for him and we'll see about a nice long vacation for you. By the way, did you bring me any chocolate?
Phelps: No, sir. I'm sorry, I forgot.
The Lord: Alright, run along then. Don't be so forgetful next time. Krishna expects you to bring him butter, and you know how testy he can be.
Phelps: Yes, sir.
It's all in how you look at things - Alec Bings, The Phantom Tollbooth
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Date: Saturday, March 22nd, 2014 09:39 pm (UTC)*dashes back to give you more birthday hugses*
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Date: Sunday, March 23rd, 2014 01:11 am (UTC)