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A special Midnight Media Cafe at noon
.
Because FUCK ME.
Tom Cruise and Jimmy Fallon
IN
The Most Epic Lip Sync Battle EVAH
Jesus. Holy Fucking GODDESS. Ridin' a fucking tomato here.
Look, I'm as wary of King Tom as the next gal. He's gotten seriously fucking psycho over the years, in a heartbreaking kinda way for me, at least.
But fuck ME. He can still bring the sex when he wants to. I thought this might be cute and I ended up on my knees licking the fucking screen.
Oh, hot sexy not-at-all-insane little wolverine, where did you go? Why did you abandon us?
We miss you so - that jaw and that neck and those thighs and those laser eyes and that golden skin and most of all, that utter fucking assurance that we would come like rockets after just five minutes with your fine, fine ass. You were a brutal slam of sex that nevertheless fit like a glove, and for a while, the whole world stood in your shadow, hypnotized by that relentless grin.
Mmm. It's nice to see you again, Majesty, even if only for a moment. You're one of my favorite cinema phantasms, and I'll always have time for a good wank with you.
.
Because FUCK ME.
Tom Cruise and Jimmy Fallon
IN
The Most Epic Lip Sync Battle EVAH
Jesus. Holy Fucking GODDESS. Ridin' a fucking tomato here.
Look, I'm as wary of King Tom as the next gal. He's gotten seriously fucking psycho over the years, in a heartbreaking kinda way for me, at least.
But fuck ME. He can still bring the sex when he wants to. I thought this might be cute and I ended up on my knees licking the fucking screen.
Oh, hot sexy not-at-all-insane little wolverine, where did you go? Why did you abandon us?
We miss you so - that jaw and that neck and those thighs and those laser eyes and that golden skin and most of all, that utter fucking assurance that we would come like rockets after just five minutes with your fine, fine ass. You were a brutal slam of sex that nevertheless fit like a glove, and for a while, the whole world stood in your shadow, hypnotized by that relentless grin.
Mmm. It's nice to see you again, Majesty, even if only for a moment. You're one of my favorite cinema phantasms, and I'll always have time for a good wank with you.
.
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