A special Midnight Media Cafe at noon

[serai]

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Because FUCK ME.

Tom Cruise and Jimmy Fallon

IN

The Most Epic Lip Sync Battle EVAH


Jesus. Holy Fucking GODDESS. Ridin' a fucking tomato here.

Look, I'm as wary of King Tom as the next gal. He's gotten seriously fucking psycho over the years, in a heartbreaking kinda way for me, at least.

But fuck ME. He can still bring the sex when he wants to. I thought this might be cute and I ended up on my knees licking the fucking screen.

Oh, hot sexy not-at-all-insane little wolverine, where did you go? Why did you abandon us?

We miss you so - that jaw and that neck and those thighs and those laser eyes and that golden skin and most of all, that utter fucking assurance that we would come like rockets after just five minutes with your fine, fine ass. You were a brutal slam of sex that nevertheless fit like a glove, and for a while, the whole world stood in your shadow, hypnotized by that relentless grin.

Mmm. It's nice to see you again, Majesty, even if only for a moment. You're one of my favorite cinema phantasms, and I'll always have time for a good wank with you.

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Comments

[shirebound]

I enjoyed that!

[serai1.livejournal.com]

Yay!

[mews1945.livejournal.com]

Nope,sorry, I can't feel it. He was never one of my crushes, even before he turned into a robot spokesman for Scientology.

[serai1.livejournal.com]

Oh, this man made my ovaries explode on a regular basis in the 80's and 90's. I still get Interview with the Vampire out for a nice...viewing every now and then. Remember what I said a while back about having a thing for gringos? Talk about King of the Gringos, Jesus. Aaaaand, then he got really fucking weird and that was the end of that. But I still enjoy his early hotsex.

[lijahlover.livejournal.com]

I miss the old Tom so much :))))))

I did see a little of the old sexy fun Tom. *g*

[serai1.livejournal.com]

If I were that chick, I'd have dissolved into a fucking puddle. Remember that quote from Renee Zellwegger? He looks into your eyes and tells you he loves you and you totally believe him. Then he goes off to his trailer and you go into six months of therapy. OH DIE.

[aliensouldream.livejournal.com]

LOL I agree! Did you see Rock of Ages? Even though it was past his best, he still screamed of sex god, even through the parody. He does the comedy and the sex, both together, and it makes you hot while laughing. I love Interview too. In his day and still, in the right part, he can be awesome.

[serai1.livejournal.com]

Oh LOL Rock of Ages. I cringed through SO MUCH of that movie. But I endured it for King Tom, who was just Utterly Luscious. Gotta love a meta-fest like that - Tom must have been having so much fun with it. That scene where he goes after the little girl reporter for daring to think she knows him - AHAHAHA. How many years have you wanted to do that, dude??

Yep, give him the right role or the right moment, and he just busts out all over again. He and Keanu have that in common. UNF.

[serai1.livejournal.com]

And Interview - OH FUCK ME GODDESS. STILL. His Lestat is a revelation. So gloriously, seductively, ecstatically evil. The perfect counterpoint to Brad Pitt's angelic cowboy Louis. That last scene? In the car? Ohohoho. FUCKITY FUCK FUCK FUCK. I was SO AGONIZED when the sequel fell through without a trace. THAT is the series Cruise should have been doing for years, not those fucking MIxIIIIIIII movies. SLURP.