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Here's a rather stupid and filthy idea, but I thought those of you who've been squeeing here might find it amusing...

( Alternative Casting Game! )

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So I just started watching Penny Dreadful and holy fucking Goddess, WHEN did Josh Hartnett get so unbe-fucking-lievably SEXY? Seriously, the man has me drooling. When did this even happen??

I have to confess that I haven't really thought about him in a long time, as he fell off my radar with that painful Wicker Park atrocity. I knew he was out there making movies, but after that debacle, I'd kinda written him off. Which worked out just fine, because now I get to be LAID OUT FLAT by what he's turned into. He's not pretty anymore - now he's interesting, a quality worth far more in an actor. As Valentine Michael might say, he's growing into his own face. It's a wonderful thing to see.

Plus, you know, there's all that fucking SKIN.

Blessed Aphrodite - I never thought I'd get to see this guy's body. Did you notice how for a long while he almost never even took his shirt off for the camera? Now this series keeps throwing these lush sex scenes into the mix, and I'm lying in a pool of sliced tomatoes. (Because you better believe I'm watching this thing in bed.) Wow, his body is beautiful. And he's photographed beautifully, as well. He's definitely the sex object in this series. Considering how much this show has to do with hunger and vampires and devouring, it's almost impossible not to see those scenes as a decadent feast laid out for us. Here you go, ladies - hot, sweet, and juicy. Eat your fill. Oh, I get trembly just thinking about it.

And I'll tell you, I never thought I'd see Josh Hartnett taking another man. OH HOLY BITCH GODDESS. I was hyperventilating, I swear. So fucking hot, but of course the scene didn't go anywhere near far enough - they chickened out and left the guys shirtless and playing tonsil hockey. HEADDESK HEADDESK HEADDESK. But I have hopes we'll see more; I'm only on the sixth episode and I really don't see any indication that sex will be put on the back burner.

Oh my. Just...oh my. What an amazing, lovely, kindling surprise this is turning out to be. The fact that it's just a damn good series all around is icing on the cake, frankly, since I'm so dazzled by what's happened to him. So just assume that I'm rattling off a list of every word for "fucking HOT" you've ever heard. Because I am, at full volume.

Our Zekey Boy's all grown up.

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P.S. Here is my theory about the brontosaurus: Ethan Chandler is a werewolf. SHUT UP RIGHT NOW. I don't want to hear if I'm right or not. I just wanted to say it, because I am So. Looking. Forward. to his transformation. So if I'm wrong, let me be disappointed on my own.

But I don't think I'm wrong.

ETA: HA. I knew it!

...The mares and jennies danced at his approach, and the nesting robins left their hatchlings to gaze down upon his passing form... - Echo and Narcissus (my version)


Have been watching The X-Files the last couple of weeks, and this afternoon am watching Red Shoe Diaries, and DAMN. I had almost forgotten how beautiful David Duchovny was back then. I still find him hot, but for a while now he's been dumpy for his role in Californication, and though he continues to be handsome in that puzzled, scholarly way, back in the early 90s he had this contemplative silence in his eyes that made him irresistible. Along with that yummy mouth and nicely cut bod...oh, my. (Don't believe me? Then check out this post from 2005: Duchovny and Wirth get hot and sweaty. Mmmm...MANFLESH.)

Plus he could pull off snark like no one else. You know, there's nothing quite as sexy as a really well-educated smartass.





*fans self*