Oh for gods sakes

[serai]

Yet again, it looks like it's time to reiterate certain things.

If you're reading this post, it means you're on my friends list. And if you're on my friends list, I must ask that you read the following:





Look, I'm not going to apologize for being who and what I am. Make of it what you will, but I'm just not. I've never made any bones about my personality, or misled anyone about the kind of person I am.

But just so we're clear, and I mean CLEAR, here are a few things you should know.


1) I am a bitch. That's a fact, and it's one I am not ashamed of. There are too many women in this world who go around all sweetness and light, gritting their teeth and holding in their spleen because it's not "nice" to let it out. Not me. NOT FUCKING ME. I would appreciate it if you all would just take my damn word for it already, and stop deluding yourselves that I'm some kind of sweet, lovable girl who just doesn't appreciate herself. I appreciate myself just fine. If you want to tell yourself stories about me, go right ahead. But don't cry when they turn out to be fantasies.

2) I have opinions. Strong ones. And I'm not afraid to use them. That's right - if I think something, and I have a reason to articulate it, I'm gonna. (That's part of No. 1, see.) True, I don't always come out with what I'm thinking. I'm not one of those people who have no valve on their cylinder, and just spew out everydamnthing that's on their minds. But be forewarned that if I feel like it, I'll tell you what I think. And it won't necessarily be "nice". It will, however, be honest. Which leads me to...

3) I'm not "nice". This is distinct from No 1, in that I view what most people call "nice" as being dishonest frontery a lot of the time. I've known way too many people (especially females) who hide behind "niceness" and use it as a way to veil some considerable backhanded vileness. Nobody could accuse them of being horrible or traitorous or venal, because of course they're "nice". That bullshit does not fly with me. If I say something pleasant or sympathetic or conciliatory, it won't be double-faced; it'll be real, and I'll be saying it because I mean it. Conversely, I'm not gonna sugar up something unpleasant or downright lie about something just because it might be ouchy. (Which is not to say I won't be polite, mind. I'm much more likely to say "That was uncalled for," than "Don't be a fucking jerk!") From this you may infer...

4) I don't waste my time with things that don't matter to me. If I say something, rest assured it's because I feel it's important enough to say. Which means that if you come off with something I disagree with, I'm only gonna respond if the subject is important to me, or if, for some reason, you are important to me in some way. Because you know, if someone I consider a friend is saying something ill-timed, misinformed or downright fatuous, it's not likely I'll let it slide. I don't truck around with ninnies; believe me, many's the time some dipshit spouts some bit of nonsense and I just roll my eyes and move on. Now that may be a bit of a backhanded compliment and one you may not give a shit about, but it's true. If you've gotten a comment from me, it's because I feel what you've said deserves notice, either positive or negative. Take that how you will, but there you have it. Which implies...

5) The fact that you're on my friends list means I find you interesting for some reason. That means that I am going to engage in conversation, debate or argument with you at some point. If you have me on your friends list, I assume the same is true of you. Therefore, if you make a post to your list and invite comment, I expect to be able and welcome to comment, whatever the comment may be. It's not my style to troll or throw ugly insults; when I disagree with someone I do it in normal conversational tones. So don't go accusing me of attacking you or being horrid. If you're the sort that jumps to ugly conclusions about other people's meanings, that's your lookout. An adjunct to this is...

6) I expect the people on my friends list to be grownups. I don't cry when people come to my journal and disagree with me (I may argue, but that's different), and I don't expect others to do it either. If there's subject on which I feel tender, I post it to a very limited list, and if it's something I can't abide gainsaying on, then guess what? I don't bring it up at all. So don't get all up in my face when you post something but don't want to hear any opinions other than your own. If you don't want to hear from me but you invite me in anyway, it's your problem, not mine. Put me on a different filter or dump me, but for gods sakes don't whine. Are we adults or aren't we?


That's all I can think of for now. If something else comes up, I'll add it later. But that pretty much covers what I wanted to say, which some of you either weren't aware of, or were talking yourselves out of believing. Do us both a favor and don't. You'll save us both some headaches.


ETA: Let's get one thing perfectly clear. I AM A LIBERAL. Have been all my life, and damn proud of it. Furthermore, I AM NOT A COWED LITTLE "LADY". (After having read all that above, I'm amazed anyone could actually think I was.) My political opinions will NOT be hidden under cuts, worded "nicely", or in any other way bowdlerized so you won't have to confront the idea that there are people who disagree with you. I don't expect YOU to clam up about what you believe (however tiresome I might possibly find it), so don't be coming here asking me to do the same.

(I'm also a feminist. And a pagan. And pro-choice. And a child of immigrants. Can't stand any of those? BYYYEEEE!!! *waves* Don't let the door hit you on the way out!)





Now that you've all read that, think carefully about it. If there's anything in there that you can't abide, that makes you think, "Oh god, I can't stand this woman", then take me off your friends list, now. PLEASE.


Get it? Got it? Good.

Comments

[grapeofdeath.livejournal.com]

No problems here. :)

[serai1.livejournal.com]

Great! Thanks for letting me know. :)

[grapeofdeath.livejournal.com]

And I love the Pulp Fiction icon. :D

[serai1.livejournal.com]

Hee. Now I've gotta work out an LOTR/SoaP crossover icon!

[too-shy.livejournal.com]

♥

[serai1.livejournal.com]

*mwah*

[serai1.livejournal.com]

Well, you already knew all that about me, didn't you?

*punches you on the shoulder*

[serai1.livejournal.com]

*kicks your legs out from under you*

*big hug*

This is great...

[shoesparks.livejournal.com]

I am glad to see such honesty...
and I'm with Grape...
No problems here...

Re: This is great...

[serai1.livejournal.com]

*grin* Thanks, and thanks!

[trilliah.livejournal.com]

*giggle snort* I think I know what this is in reference to. I have to agree with you, if that is indeed what it is. And if not, well, you're free to be a bitch, regardless. XD

*uses bitch icon because omg, I almost never get to!*

[serai1.livejournal.com]

*eyeroll* There are some things that...well, I'm just not gonna shut up about 'em.

Yay, FrodoBitch!

By the way, I can't remember if I ever told you, but I put both the drawings of yours that I have in nice silver frames. They're up on my wall above my computer (and bed, nyahaha).

[mews1945.livejournal.com]

I see nothing wrong with honesty.

[serai1.livejournal.com]

I'm very happy to hear that. :)

[rubynye.livejournal.com]

You're *you*. Why would we want you to be someone else?

For awhile I thought you got on my nerves more than you were good for me to read, so I defriended you. Then I realized the opposite was true and I missed you, so I refriended you. I have two friends' lists, and this is the one I read, so you wouldn't be on it if I didn't want you on it.

I hope that makes sense. But, yeah. You're very much you, and I ike you that way.

[serai1.livejournal.com]

Bwahaha. Is that why you dropped me? I'd wondered. I hope it wasn't because I'd insulted you or anything. Well, I'm glad you decided I was worth reading again, because I think you're pretty great, Ruby.

*hug*

[rubynye.livejournal.com]

*blushes and hugs you like a hobbit would*

[serai1.livejournal.com]

*picks herself up off the ground and brushes leaves out of her hair*

[lilithlotr.livejournal.com]

It's funny how we feel compelled to say these things that should be obvious, isn't it?

I suspect it's because Six Apart is, at least in part, correct - and LJ is populated by kiddies who are all appearance and no substance.

[serai1.livejournal.com]

*sigh* I suspect you're right. There are quite a few of us older people, but there's no reason to doubt that the majority are kids. But it's frustrating to encounter this behavior in people who are not kids. That is, if they're not, which I'm not always certain of.

But yeah, sometimes you just gotta spell things out.

[ladysunrope.livejournal.com]

We have a commercial on UK TV which states 'does what it says on the can.'

That's exactly how I see your honesty and why I like your posts.

You say it and do it. Sounds good to me.

[serai1.livejournal.com]

Hee! Sounds like a great commercial.

Yep, I think we should all be just who we are and not pretend to be anything else. What's the point, otherwise?

[oxer12.livejournal.com]

Why, I have never gotten into an argument with you! I have no idea what you're talking about! ;-) *snort*

I don't have any problem with bitches, as long as they're not nasty and malicious (which you're not). Bitch away! :-)

[serai1.livejournal.com]

Hey, we are what we are. As long as people understand that I'm neither going to shove a sock in my mouth, or punch them in theirs, we're fine. ;)

[estelanui.livejournal.com]

No problem at all.

I like gardening and the myriad of different herbs.
Succulent plants, for instance, can have deceiving prickles or nasty spines, but they are juicy, evergreen and sometimes give beutiful, gentle flowers.

[gloryunderhill.livejournal.com]

What a beautiful metaphor! Serai is our little succulent! :D

[serai1.livejournal.com]

Succulent? Ooo, I like that.

[celandine-g.livejournal.com]

Hehe, great treatise on "yourself" and from what I have seen, quite accurate and enjoyable. I always like reading your posts--and definitely because of the points you make and the straightforward way you make them. It is always refreshing to hear a real opinion about things and I almost always agree. But if I don't, so what!

Sorry we weren't able to link up that time in CA a while back. I do get there every so often. Are you still interested in lunch or a drink sometime?

[serai1.livejournal.com]

A whole lotta time later...

If you're ever in LA and would like to hang out, I'd love to see you.

HUGS!

[slipperieslope.livejournal.com]

Hey I like you because you aint easy ; )

[serai1.livejournal.com]

Hell no. A night out with an expensive dinner, flowers optional, at the very least. ;)

[gloryunderhill.livejournal.com]

Will you be running for president in 08? I'm registered to vote! :D One of my favorite quote thingies...BITCH stands for Babe In Total Control of Herself! Rock on sister!

[serai1.livejournal.com]

Heehee. There could not be enough money or perks or hot young studs in the WORLD to induce me to involve myself in politics. You put out all your effort and then some, and your soul gets sucked away, and in the end you can never achieve what you set out for. Not enough return for too much investment. As Jubal Harshaw said, "Not me. Spoiled fish makes me bilious."

In control of myself? *laughs, chokes, coughs*

Thanks for the vote of confidence, though! ;)

[belleferret.livejournal.com]

You go girl!!

*waves a liberal flag*

[serai1.livejournal.com]

*throws streamers*

Thanks, hon!

[lilithlotr.livejournal.com]

It's pretty scary when you have to, basically, point out that you'll post what you like in your own LJ, isn't it?

I think kiddies confuse websites and LJs. I mean, liveJOURNAL for fuck's sake. Blogging is still, for a lot of us, journaling. Why would one be PC or fail to speak one's mind in one's own journal?

The mind, she boggles

[serai1.livejournal.com]

It's utterly fucking unbelievable. What the hell kind of entitlement-minded kindergarten is this world coming to? I'm astounded at the gall of some people. What would be their reactions if I showed up at their front doors and started berating them for hanging an American flag out their window, or keyed their cars because they had anti-choice bumper stickers?

Philistines. The mind, she can actually ESSPLODE!

[marigold6.livejournal.com]

I do believe you've had to post something like this at least once before, to my recollection. And as far as what you are - you are a wonderfully honest person. People seem to think that women are supposed to suppress themselves to get along. Why?

"I AM A LIBERAL...I'm also a feminist. And a pagan. And a child of immigrants." Oh blessed be...it's me!

[serai1.livejournal.com]

People seem to think that women are supposed to suppress themselves to get along. Why?

In this day and age? Not a freakin' clue. Maybe my big-mouthed truculence comes as a reaction being raised by a "lady". Don't think I don't love my mom, but she's one of those passive-aggressive "nice" women who seem like sugar most of the time, but know how to use that nice to slide in the knife when they want to. Ugh, that kind of dishonesty goes against my grain. I just can't make myself do it.

When a high school teacher told Keanu Reeves, who'd expressed objection to some establishment bullshit, "Sometimes you just have to bite the bullet", he snapped back, "Yeah, but that doesn't mean I have to eat the whole rifle!" That's me in a nutshell right there.

[serai1.livejournal.com]

Oh blessed be...it's me!

Is that where you've been? I thought the mirror looked awfully empty lately. ;P

Blessed be, honey.

[i-o-r-h-a-e-l.livejournal.com]

First of all, I'd like to thank you for putting me on your list. I friended a lot of people and I'm always grateful if they friend me back.

I've read some of your posts, and to tell you honestly, I admire you for your opinions. None of them I found disturbing. As for me, you might not know that I'm not a native of English, so perhaps I will have some difficulties when it comes to debating. I sometimes have so much to say but I just don't know how to say them eloquently. *blushes* But I try my best, just as for my fics.

And I also want to 'warn' you something: I post a lot! :D