Oh for gods sakes
Friday, June 23rd, 2006 06:34 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
seraiYet again, it looks like it's time to reiterate certain things.
If you're reading this post, it means you're on my friends list. And if you're on my friends list, I must ask that you read the following:
Look, I'm not going to apologize for being who and what I am. Make of it what you will, but I'm just not. I've never made any bones about my personality, or misled anyone about the kind of person I am.
But just so we're clear, and I mean CLEAR, here are a few things you should know.
1) I am a bitch. That's a fact, and it's one I am not ashamed of. There are too many women in this world who go around all sweetness and light, gritting their teeth and holding in their spleen because it's not "nice" to let it out. Not me. NOT FUCKING ME. I would appreciate it if you all would just take my damn word for it already, and stop deluding yourselves that I'm some kind of sweet, lovable girl who just doesn't appreciate herself. I appreciate myself just fine. If you want to tell yourself stories about me, go right ahead. But don't cry when they turn out to be fantasies.
2) I have opinions. Strong ones. And I'm not afraid to use them. That's right - if I think something, and I have a reason to articulate it, I'm gonna. (That's part of No. 1, see.) True, I don't always come out with what I'm thinking. I'm not one of those people who have no valve on their cylinder, and just spew out everydamnthing that's on their minds. But be forewarned that if I feel like it, I'll tell you what I think. And it won't necessarily be "nice". It will, however, be honest. Which leads me to...
3) I'm not "nice". This is distinct from No 1, in that I view what most people call "nice" as being dishonest frontery a lot of the time. I've known way too many people (especially females) who hide behind "niceness" and use it as a way to veil some considerable backhanded vileness. Nobody could accuse them of being horrible or traitorous or venal, because of course they're "nice". That bullshit does not fly with me. If I say something pleasant or sympathetic or conciliatory, it won't be double-faced; it'll be real, and I'll be saying it because I mean it. Conversely, I'm not gonna sugar up something unpleasant or downright lie about something just because it might be ouchy. (Which is not to say I won't be polite, mind. I'm much more likely to say "That was uncalled for," than "Don't be a fucking jerk!") From this you may infer...
4) I don't waste my time with things that don't matter to me. If I say something, rest assured it's because I feel it's important enough to say. Which means that if you come off with something I disagree with, I'm only gonna respond if the subject is important to me, or if, for some reason, you are important to me in some way. Because you know, if someone I consider a friend is saying something ill-timed, misinformed or downright fatuous, it's not likely I'll let it slide. I don't truck around with ninnies; believe me, many's the time some dipshit spouts some bit of nonsense and I just roll my eyes and move on. Now that may be a bit of a backhanded compliment and one you may not give a shit about, but it's true. If you've gotten a comment from me, it's because I feel what you've said deserves notice, either positive or negative. Take that how you will, but there you have it. Which implies...
5) The fact that you're on my friends list means I find you interesting for some reason. That means that I am going to engage in conversation, debate or argument with you at some point. If you have me on your friends list, I assume the same is true of you. Therefore, if you make a post to your list and invite comment, I expect to be able and welcome to comment, whatever the comment may be. It's not my style to troll or throw ugly insults; when I disagree with someone I do it in normal conversational tones. So don't go accusing me of attacking you or being horrid. If you're the sort that jumps to ugly conclusions about other people's meanings, that's your lookout. An adjunct to this is...
6) I expect the people on my friends list to be grownups. I don't cry when people come to my journal and disagree with me (I may argue, but that's different), and I don't expect others to do it either. If there's subject on which I feel tender, I post it to a very limited list, and if it's something I can't abide gainsaying on, then guess what? I don't bring it up at all. So don't get all up in my face when you post something but don't want to hear any opinions other than your own. If you don't want to hear from me but you invite me in anyway, it's your problem, not mine. Put me on a different filter or dump me, but for gods sakes don't whine. Are we adults or aren't we?
That's all I can think of for now. If something else comes up, I'll add it later. But that pretty much covers what I wanted to say, which some of you either weren't aware of, or were talking yourselves out of believing. Do us both a favor and don't. You'll save us both some headaches.
ETA: Let's get one thing perfectly clear. I AM A LIBERAL. Have been all my life, and damn proud of it. Furthermore, I AM NOT A COWED LITTLE "LADY". (After having read all that above, I'm amazed anyone could actually think I was.) My political opinions will NOT be hidden under cuts, worded "nicely", or in any other way bowdlerized so you won't have to confront the idea that there are people who disagree with you. I don't expect YOU to clam up about what you believe (however tiresome I might possibly find it), so don't be coming here asking me to do the same.
(I'm also a feminist. And a pagan. And pro-choice. And a child of immigrants. Can't stand any of those? BYYYEEEE!!! *waves* Don't let the door hit you on the way out!)
Now that you've all read that, think carefully about it. If there's anything in there that you can't abide, that makes you think, "Oh god, I can't stand this woman", then take me off your friends list, now. PLEASE.
Get it? Got it? Good.
If you're reading this post, it means you're on my friends list. And if you're on my friends list, I must ask that you read the following:
Look, I'm not going to apologize for being who and what I am. Make of it what you will, but I'm just not. I've never made any bones about my personality, or misled anyone about the kind of person I am.
But just so we're clear, and I mean CLEAR, here are a few things you should know.
1) I am a bitch. That's a fact, and it's one I am not ashamed of. There are too many women in this world who go around all sweetness and light, gritting their teeth and holding in their spleen because it's not "nice" to let it out. Not me. NOT FUCKING ME. I would appreciate it if you all would just take my damn word for it already, and stop deluding yourselves that I'm some kind of sweet, lovable girl who just doesn't appreciate herself. I appreciate myself just fine. If you want to tell yourself stories about me, go right ahead. But don't cry when they turn out to be fantasies.
2) I have opinions. Strong ones. And I'm not afraid to use them. That's right - if I think something, and I have a reason to articulate it, I'm gonna. (That's part of No. 1, see.) True, I don't always come out with what I'm thinking. I'm not one of those people who have no valve on their cylinder, and just spew out everydamnthing that's on their minds. But be forewarned that if I feel like it, I'll tell you what I think. And it won't necessarily be "nice". It will, however, be honest. Which leads me to...
3) I'm not "nice". This is distinct from No 1, in that I view what most people call "nice" as being dishonest frontery a lot of the time. I've known way too many people (especially females) who hide behind "niceness" and use it as a way to veil some considerable backhanded vileness. Nobody could accuse them of being horrible or traitorous or venal, because of course they're "nice". That bullshit does not fly with me. If I say something pleasant or sympathetic or conciliatory, it won't be double-faced; it'll be real, and I'll be saying it because I mean it. Conversely, I'm not gonna sugar up something unpleasant or downright lie about something just because it might be ouchy. (Which is not to say I won't be polite, mind. I'm much more likely to say "That was uncalled for," than "Don't be a fucking jerk!") From this you may infer...
4) I don't waste my time with things that don't matter to me. If I say something, rest assured it's because I feel it's important enough to say. Which means that if you come off with something I disagree with, I'm only gonna respond if the subject is important to me, or if, for some reason, you are important to me in some way. Because you know, if someone I consider a friend is saying something ill-timed, misinformed or downright fatuous, it's not likely I'll let it slide. I don't truck around with ninnies; believe me, many's the time some dipshit spouts some bit of nonsense and I just roll my eyes and move on. Now that may be a bit of a backhanded compliment and one you may not give a shit about, but it's true. If you've gotten a comment from me, it's because I feel what you've said deserves notice, either positive or negative. Take that how you will, but there you have it. Which implies...
5) The fact that you're on my friends list means I find you interesting for some reason. That means that I am going to engage in conversation, debate or argument with you at some point. If you have me on your friends list, I assume the same is true of you. Therefore, if you make a post to your list and invite comment, I expect to be able and welcome to comment, whatever the comment may be. It's not my style to troll or throw ugly insults; when I disagree with someone I do it in normal conversational tones. So don't go accusing me of attacking you or being horrid. If you're the sort that jumps to ugly conclusions about other people's meanings, that's your lookout. An adjunct to this is...
6) I expect the people on my friends list to be grownups. I don't cry when people come to my journal and disagree with me (I may argue, but that's different), and I don't expect others to do it either. If there's subject on which I feel tender, I post it to a very limited list, and if it's something I can't abide gainsaying on, then guess what? I don't bring it up at all. So don't get all up in my face when you post something but don't want to hear any opinions other than your own. If you don't want to hear from me but you invite me in anyway, it's your problem, not mine. Put me on a different filter or dump me, but for gods sakes don't whine. Are we adults or aren't we?
That's all I can think of for now. If something else comes up, I'll add it later. But that pretty much covers what I wanted to say, which some of you either weren't aware of, or were talking yourselves out of believing. Do us both a favor and don't. You'll save us both some headaches.
ETA: Let's get one thing perfectly clear. I AM A LIBERAL. Have been all my life, and damn proud of it. Furthermore, I AM NOT A COWED LITTLE "LADY". (After having read all that above, I'm amazed anyone could actually think I was.) My political opinions will NOT be hidden under cuts, worded "nicely", or in any other way bowdlerized so you won't have to confront the idea that there are people who disagree with you. I don't expect YOU to clam up about what you believe (however tiresome I might possibly find it), so don't be coming here asking me to do the same.
(I'm also a feminist. And a pagan. And pro-choice. And a child of immigrants. Can't stand any of those? BYYYEEEE!!! *waves* Don't let the door hit you on the way out!)
Now that you've all read that, think carefully about it. If there's anything in there that you can't abide, that makes you think, "Oh god, I can't stand this woman", then take me off your friends list, now. PLEASE.
Get it? Got it? Good.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: Sunday, December 10th, 2006 07:04 am (UTC)"I AM A LIBERAL...I'm also a feminist. And a pagan. And a child of immigrants." Oh blessed be...it's me!
no subject
Date: Sunday, December 10th, 2006 07:41 am (UTC)In this day and age? Not a freakin' clue. Maybe my big-mouthed truculence comes as a reaction being raised by a "lady". Don't think I don't love my mom, but she's one of those passive-aggressive "nice" women who seem like sugar most of the time, but know how to use that nice to slide in the knife when they want to. Ugh, that kind of dishonesty goes against my grain. I just can't make myself do it.
When a high school teacher told Keanu Reeves, who'd expressed objection to some establishment bullshit, "Sometimes you just have to bite the bullet", he snapped back, "Yeah, but that doesn't mean I have to eat the whole rifle!" That's me in a nutshell right there.
no subject
Date: Sunday, December 10th, 2006 07:43 am (UTC)Is that where you've been? I thought the mirror looked awfully empty lately. ;P
Blessed be, honey.