Changes in the offing

[serai]

Everybody talks about truth like it's toilet paper, and they got a supply in the closet. But what you discover as you get older is that there ain't no truth. All there is, is bullshit. And you pick the brand of bullshit you prefer, and that's your bullshit.

-- Bernie LaPlante, Hero




Originally, I came to LJ in order to read fan fiction, and to have someplace to put my own. I was not particularly interested in personal matters, either in posting my own or reading anyone else's. Didn't have either the time or inclination to get tangled up in stuff that, let's face it, really has nothing to do with my life.

Well, a little at a time, I got distracted from that very sensible viewpoint, until the Goddess, in her inimitable way, felt compelled to slap me in the face. Not too hard, but hard enough to make me sit up and think, What the hell am I doing? Just hard enough to make me thankful it wasn't any harder, that She hadn't knocked me down so I couldn't get up again (or at least not for a very long time). I realized I've been spending far too much time paying attention to the stuff that goes on here, and not enough to what is REALLY important - the world around me, my family and friends, the things I'm good at.

So here's the upshot. First of all, I'm going to go through and strip my friends list. The majority of personal journals will go. There's just too much stuff on there at the moment, and it's time to clean house. A few will stay for various reasons, but some of what's on the list now will go. I'm going back to what I originally came here for - reading and writing, both fiction and non-fiction, and the journals that engage me in that arena. I'll bookmark a few people to check in on from time to time, so we don't lose touch altogether, but commenting is another thing that's going to get cut way down.

Second, this journal will be locked. Once I started posting personal stuff, I was never comfortable with the idea of just anybody reading my LJ. So that's going to stop, and locking it is a lot easier than having to remember whether or not to lock each entry, frankly. I may open an LJ for my fic writing and transfer my fics over there, but since I'm not really doing any writing these days, and my stuff is on my website anyway, that may not happen. Should there be any writing that I want others to read, I'll probably post it on one writing community or another.

That's about it. If some people's feelings get hurt over not being included on my flist, that's really too bad. However, I'm not going to apologize for it. This has been coming for a while, to be honest, and now it's here. And since my words are pretty much meaningless to anyone but me and perhaps a few people I know, it doesn't matter anyway. Besides which, to quote Emma Jacklin, "I don't believe in being sorry. We are what we are."

This post will be left up for a day or two while I go through my LJ and do some deleting and locking, and then it'll be adios. If you've got something to say, feel free to say it. (Flames will be deleted, however, because they waste my time and are boring, to boot.)

---

Those of you interested, please read. Those of you not, have a nice day.

Comments

[rubynye.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you said something, and I really appreciate what you have written me since we 'met' on LJ. You must do what you need and want to (not like you need my permission, but I have to actually write something to give the online equivalent of the 'understanding nod').

[serai1.livejournal.com]

Thanks, hon. I appreciate your support. :)

[samena.livejournal.com]

Should you take me off your friendslist and then lock your journal, I will definitely miss reading your entries very much. But I also understand why you are doing this, so naturally there won't be hard feelings on my part. Good luck, whatever you do.

[loreley-se.livejournal.com]

I´ve only recently friended you, partially because I like your fics, partially because I find your "other" entries very worth reading too - I might not always agree (and I know I don´t always comment) but they are food for thought. So, I´d love to be able to continue reading both, but I can relate to how LJ can take way too much time and energy, so ADDING people is probably the last thing you want to do...

[isildae.livejournal.com]

If you unfriend me that's ok, though I'll surely miss reading your LJ.

I get why you need to do this, sometimes its just necessary.

But I would miss your posts, its good having another pagan friend around, we need to stick together.

((hugs))

[celandine-g.livejournal.com]

I agree with all of the above. I have very much enjoyed following your interesting and thoughtful comments, first on TORn and now here. But I also understand how things can get to be too much and the need to focus on one's most important priorities.

I therefore wish you the best in whatever you do and I will certainly understand.

[ex-lunarisi.livejournal.com]

Hi Serai,

I really can sympathize with you on this; I was very reluctant to open up an LJ at first for the very reasons you outlined in your post. My fandom friends pestered me into getting one for nearly six months when I finally realized I could keep up with them when we weren't in chat and it made a nice place to post my artwork.

Now some of those chat friends are gone and there isn't much reason for me to have a journal other than to keep up with online friends. Although we don't post back and forth to each other alot, I do count your journal as one I enjoy reading, primarily because it's NOT the same views and opinions as the majority of my friends on LJ. It's very nice to get a different perspective on things and someone to take the reigns and say 'wait a fucking minute' on some issues.

I do hope that if I should make the cut list, that you'll stop by my LJ once and awhile and maybe leave some of your less personal posts open. If you start up a fic LJ, I'd love to be friended on it as I enjoy your writing very very much.

May you experience some serenity and peace in your restructured lifestyle.

[elderberrywine.livejournal.com]

Well, m'dear, RL comes first, no denying it. I hope what ever it was that hit you has shaken itself out, and that it gets better from here. Just wanted to mention that most of the time, I read you and mutter, "Damn straight".

There are a lot of negative vibes on LJ, no doubt about it, and truly it is a shame. With a primarily female audience, I somehow naively had expected better, but ah, well. There is so not a need for it.

Peace out and hope you keep writing. In this fandom. Cause it makes me happy.

[fyrdrakken]

LJ isn't for everybody, and we all have to find that balance between RL and maintaining whatever degree of online presence we wish to keep. I've been down the road of paring the friends' list myself, so I understand where you're coming from with it. (If I wasn't so able to stay on top of it from work while still maintaining a decent output, I'd no doubt pare it even farther down.)

[(Anonymous)]

As you say, you've been ready to do this for a while. I hope things get better for you, and that this will remove one stressor from your life.

I do have to say I'll miss your point of view. You're a unique and interesting individual, and I've enjoyed the passing contact we've had.

FantasyFan

[willow-wode.livejournal.com]

I appreciate your directness and candor, always have. Sometimes life does have a way of kicking us in the butt when we need to heed it--too many don't heed, and I think you're very right to do so.

Nevertheless, I really hope to still see you about, one way or another. (And I still love that cd, you know.) You take care.