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serai.
So now the piss off has worn off, and I'm just sad and depressed. It's hot as hell here (thought not at the moment because it's, you know, night), I'm facing another summer of trying to get around to doctors and therapists on the bus during another broiling three months, I have no prospects for work, I'm tired and sad and I just fucking don't care. Goddmmit, every blow like this just drives me deeper down. I used to want to get out into the world, but as time goes by, I feel myself sinking deeper and deeper. The good moments get fewer, I have no friends to hang out with, nothing interests me. And now I'm afraid even my story may be abandoning me - this thing has just sucked the will to write right out of me.
I should never have moved back to L.A. That was the biggest mistake I ever made. I'll never get out of here. I'll never have a life again.
I want out.
.
So now the piss off has worn off, and I'm just sad and depressed. It's hot as hell here (thought not at the moment because it's, you know, night), I'm facing another summer of trying to get around to doctors and therapists on the bus during another broiling three months, I have no prospects for work, I'm tired and sad and I just fucking don't care. Goddmmit, every blow like this just drives me deeper down. I used to want to get out into the world, but as time goes by, I feel myself sinking deeper and deeper. The good moments get fewer, I have no friends to hang out with, nothing interests me. And now I'm afraid even my story may be abandoning me - this thing has just sucked the will to write right out of me.
I should never have moved back to L.A. That was the biggest mistake I ever made. I'll never get out of here. I'll never have a life again.
I want out.
.
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no subject
Date: Wednesday, June 22nd, 2016 11:40 am (UTC)