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There are a lot of people I'd sit down and question if I could. But just off the top of my head right this moment, I think I'd pick John of Padmos and ask him, "Just what the HELL have you been smoking lately?"

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Well, I live in L.A., and have worked in places that celebrities walked into, so I have met them. But as for "stumbled onto" - no, but I can say I've had celebrities stumble onto me. Twice.

A few years ago (I think it was 2006), I was going up the stairs of the parking garage at the Cinerama Dome theater in Hollywood. I'd just come from Amoeba Records, which shares parking with the theater, and on crossing the courtyard had noticed that there was a daytime premiere going on. Some kid's movie, I believe; can't remember which one. I was going up the stairs, which are the open metalwork kind, and I tripped and fell. A burst of pain in my ankle, and I yelled fairly loud. I was on my can rubbing my leg when a male voice with an Irish accent said with concern, "Are you alright?" I winced and looked up - and it was Gabriel Byrne.

Bit of a shock, that. Luckily my ankle hurt, which distracted me enough that I didn't gawk or anything stupid like that. I said something like I think so or I hope so. He came close and leaned over me and asked if I needed help. By this time I could tell that the ankle was okay, nothing serious. It would hurt for a while, but it wasn't swelling up or anything. I could have made out like it was messed up, but I just couldn't be dishonest on him like that. After a moment of rubbing it and him being solicitous, I said I was okay. "Are you sure?" he said and offered to help me to my car. But I thanked him for his kindness and went on up the stairs. By the time I got back to my car, my ankle was just kinda sore, and I was able to sit in my car and FREAK OUT.

The other time was when I was working at the Bodhi Tree Bookstore in West Hollywood. Lots of celebrities come in there, or did when during the time I was there. One day I was helping an elderly lady who wanted some incense from a basket on the floor. I knelt down to pick out some for her, and there appeared next to me a pair of scuffed black leather shoes. I looked up and straight into the eyes of - Johnny Depp.

For the slightest second, I did freeze. You know that cliche about someone's eyes being like deep pools of water? He's the only person I've ever met about whom I could say that was really true. His eyes really did seem fathomless, like something you could literally dive into and not come out. He looked down at me quite solemnly - you know, that look - and I heard this voice in my head saying look away, look away RIGHT NOW. Whatever that voice was, it knew that if I kept my gaze on him, I was going to start drooling in about three seconds. So I looked back down at what I was doing and thought I'm going to take care of my customer, and if he's still there then, I'll ask him if he needs any help. But when I got up, he'd gone, and he never did come in the store while I worked there.

So - met, encountered, spoke with - yes, I've done all those things. But stumbled onto? Only those two times. And memorable they were, too. (And now I'm gonna stop, 'cause me arm's starting to sing again.)

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I should like to go back and listen to the chamber group that played as the Titanic was sinking. They stayed on the deck until the last moments and, I believe, went down with the ship.

Such heroic music is something I think I would profit from hearing.