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Found this on a comment board today:
The morning dawned clear and bright, and Gandalf rose early to walk along the terraces and slopes above the loud-flowing Bruinen. The rising sun shone pale and wan through the silver mist, and the webs of the spiders glistened among the trees. On a small bench beside the path he came upon Elrond, who rose to greet him.
“Fine is the morning and fortunate the meeting, O Mithrandir! Long have I sat here contemplating the paths that lie before us, and now find myself in need of sustenance. I have in my cool-rooms a hoard of stone-fruits from Gondolin, which I would gladly share with you.”
“Many years has it been,” replied Gandalf, “since I have tasted the stone-fruits of Gondolin. They grow now but sparsely among the fallen stones of that once fair city.”
Elrond rose and led the way to his cool-rooms, which stood in a shadowed corner of the Last Homely House, sheltered from the sunlight by the high walls of the building around them. There he kept many foods from all over Middle-Earth, cooled by great blocks of ice carried down from the Misty mountains.
The thick stone door of the cool-rooms stood ajar. Elrond and Gandalf entered to find Pippin seated on a wooden chest, wiping his mouth with his handkerchief. Beside him lay a small pile of fruit-stones, the last traces of golden flesh still clinging to them.
“Hullo, Gandalf! Hullo, Elrond! I just popped in here for a little something to eat. It’s a long time yet to breakfast, and waiting is hungry work, as my gaffer always says.”
Elrond stood still within the doorway, but Gandalf strode forward. “Gluttonous fool of a Took! You have eaten the stone-fruits of Gondolin, which we had preserved in the cool-room for our breakfast!”
“Forgive me,” cried the hobbit, cringing before the wizard’s wrath. “They were so sweet and so cold that I could hardly resist them!”
Points if you get the originating reference. :)
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Found this on a comment board today:
The morning dawned clear and bright, and Gandalf rose early to walk along the terraces and slopes above the loud-flowing Bruinen. The rising sun shone pale and wan through the silver mist, and the webs of the spiders glistened among the trees. On a small bench beside the path he came upon Elrond, who rose to greet him.
“Fine is the morning and fortunate the meeting, O Mithrandir! Long have I sat here contemplating the paths that lie before us, and now find myself in need of sustenance. I have in my cool-rooms a hoard of stone-fruits from Gondolin, which I would gladly share with you.”
“Many years has it been,” replied Gandalf, “since I have tasted the stone-fruits of Gondolin. They grow now but sparsely among the fallen stones of that once fair city.”
Elrond rose and led the way to his cool-rooms, which stood in a shadowed corner of the Last Homely House, sheltered from the sunlight by the high walls of the building around them. There he kept many foods from all over Middle-Earth, cooled by great blocks of ice carried down from the Misty mountains.
The thick stone door of the cool-rooms stood ajar. Elrond and Gandalf entered to find Pippin seated on a wooden chest, wiping his mouth with his handkerchief. Beside him lay a small pile of fruit-stones, the last traces of golden flesh still clinging to them.
“Hullo, Gandalf! Hullo, Elrond! I just popped in here for a little something to eat. It’s a long time yet to breakfast, and waiting is hungry work, as my gaffer always says.”
Elrond stood still within the doorway, but Gandalf strode forward. “Gluttonous fool of a Took! You have eaten the stone-fruits of Gondolin, which we had preserved in the cool-room for our breakfast!”
“Forgive me,” cried the hobbit, cringing before the wizard’s wrath. “They were so sweet and so cold that I could hardly resist them!”
Points if you get the originating reference. :)
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AaaaAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!! AH!!!
Wednesday, June 8th, 2016 05:37 pm.
OMG, you guys!!! Did you know that VIKING KITTENS ARE A THING?
YES THEY ARE
THEY ARE INDEED.
Turn that shit up to ELEVEN AND DESPAIR!!!
OMG, you guys!!! Did you know that VIKING KITTENS ARE A THING?
THEY ARE INDEED.
Turn that shit up to ELEVEN AND DESPAIR!!!
Brat gets his
Thursday, February 18th, 2016 02:04 pm.
For those of you who watch Game of Thrones:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IzukIA7qU9Y
Start the video.
Pause the video.
Unpause the video.
Press "8".
Press "8" again.
Press "8" again...
You're welcome.
Embedding has been removed on that video, but trust me... YOU NEED TO DO THIS.
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For those of you who watch Game of Thrones:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IzukIA7qU9Y
Start the video.
Pause the video.
Unpause the video.
Press "8".
Press "8" again.
Press "8" again...
You're welcome.
Embedding has been removed on that video, but trust me... YOU NEED TO DO THIS.
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Someone's got your number, baby
Wednesday, January 13th, 2016 11:54 am.
LOL. Just looking at the Netflix page for Elijah's film The Last Witch Hunter, and reading the user reviews. One guy talked mostly about Vin Diesel, but also added this little bon mot:
Elijah Wood plays the creepy little guy he's so good at.
AHAHA. Dude's clearly been keeping up with our darling's movies over the past few years. Man, I would never have thought that that sweet, serious little boy would gravitate towards playing weirdoes and freaks in all these weirdly unhinged movies.
*sporfle*
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LOL. Just looking at the Netflix page for Elijah's film The Last Witch Hunter, and reading the user reviews. One guy talked mostly about Vin Diesel, but also added this little bon mot:
Elijah Wood plays the creepy little guy he's so good at.
AHAHA. Dude's clearly been keeping up with our darling's movies over the past few years. Man, I would never have thought that that sweet, serious little boy would gravitate towards playing weirdoes and freaks in all these weirdly unhinged movies.
*sporfle*
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Midnight Media Cafe - Nano-Impressions
Tuesday, January 12th, 2016 08:51 pm.
This is hysterical.
Nano-Impressions with Ross Marquand
This guy does killer impressions. This video has him doing actors in three- to five-second bites, all of them dealing with some boring, mundane bit of reality, such as Harrison Ford losing a sneeze, George Clooney trying to get a word in, and Liam Neeson going through an automated phone system. And it is killer. (Antonio Banderas forgetting his password made me lose my shit.)
Just watch it. Trust me.
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This is hysterical.
Nano-Impressions with Ross Marquand
This guy does killer impressions. This video has him doing actors in three- to five-second bites, all of them dealing with some boring, mundane bit of reality, such as Harrison Ford losing a sneeze, George Clooney trying to get a word in, and Liam Neeson going through an automated phone system. And it is killer. (Antonio Banderas forgetting his password made me lose my shit.)
Just watch it. Trust me.
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I...didn't even know that was a thing
Wednesday, October 28th, 2015 10:20 am.
I'm a big fan of Wil Wheaton. He's pretty damn cool. I read his blog, but I must have missed this...thing here.
Behold Wesley Crusher: Teenage Fuck Machine - A Kindle Book
Just so you know, that's a link to i09's, um, review of the "book". There's an excerpt. It's... yeah, the only term adequate for this is "fan fiction"**. Because there's just no way it could have gotten published otherwise.
From the article:
an edifying fable in which the Enterprise's resident rascal has a sexual awakening during a threesome with a barbed-penised cat man. Also, Captain Jean Luc Picard is walloped in the gonads.
If I had one of those benighted Satan's toys, I'd download this is a HEARTBEAT. Especially since the price is Just. So. Right.
**I hope it's obvious that I don't mean this as a knock on fan fiction. I do write the stuff, after all. But this thing is so emblematic of a certain type of fanfic that there isn't anything else to call it.
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I'm a big fan of Wil Wheaton. He's pretty damn cool. I read his blog, but I must have missed this...thing here.
Behold Wesley Crusher: Teenage Fuck Machine - A Kindle Book
Just so you know, that's a link to i09's, um, review of the "book". There's an excerpt. It's... yeah, the only term adequate for this is "fan fiction"**. Because there's just no way it could have gotten published otherwise.
From the article:
an edifying fable in which the Enterprise's resident rascal has a sexual awakening during a threesome with a barbed-penised cat man. Also, Captain Jean Luc Picard is walloped in the gonads.
If I had one of those benighted Satan's toys, I'd download this is a HEARTBEAT. Especially since the price is Just. So. Right.
**I hope it's obvious that I don't mean this as a knock on fan fiction. I do write the stuff, after all. But this thing is so emblematic of a certain type of fanfic that there isn't anything else to call it.
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Just don't hand him a phaser
Wednesday, October 21st, 2015 08:58 pm.
Saw this on a thread about Ben Carson's bugfuck lunacy:
Have you heard the crap that guy is going around spouting? Holy shit, that guy's crazy.
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Saw this on a thread about Ben Carson's bugfuck lunacy:
Have you heard the crap that guy is going around spouting? Holy shit, that guy's crazy.
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And you thought twits were invented on the internet
Monday, October 19th, 2015 07:39 pm.
So I'm rewatching Penny Dreadful, since the Season 2 DVDs are coming from Netflix, and discovering nuances I hadn't seen before, and one of them I'm finding more and more amusing the longer I think about it.
It was in watching the episode where ( SPOILERS DAMMIT )
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So I'm rewatching Penny Dreadful, since the Season 2 DVDs are coming from Netflix, and discovering nuances I hadn't seen before, and one of them I'm finding more and more amusing the longer I think about it.
It was in watching the episode where ( SPOILERS DAMMIT )
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Blood and guts and veins in m'teeth
Sunday, October 11th, 2015 10:20 am.
Am currently watching Elijah's fabulously ridiculous zombie apocalypse film, Cooties.
AHAHAHAAAA. This thing is every shade of fucked up. Elijah must have had a ball doing it. I really love the inside jokes about his films. The LOTR reference was right out there on the nose, but the Faculty references are a bit more subtle.
Me? No! I don't do brave things!
I fell out at that one. And the stalking through the halls sequence - I'm sure Zeke would've been very happy to have that golf-ball launcher. It's just too fucking funny.
Gotta love movies written by fanbois.
( Ending Spoiler! )
Am currently watching Elijah's fabulously ridiculous zombie apocalypse film, Cooties.
AHAHAHAAAA. This thing is every shade of fucked up. Elijah must have had a ball doing it. I really love the inside jokes about his films. The LOTR reference was right out there on the nose, but the Faculty references are a bit more subtle.
Me? No! I don't do brave things!
I fell out at that one. And the stalking through the halls sequence - I'm sure Zeke would've been very happy to have that golf-ball launcher. It's just too fucking funny.
Gotta love movies written by fanbois.
( Ending Spoiler! )
I do love me a smart broad, I do...
Thursday, September 10th, 2015 04:22 pm.
Woman sells Cheating Boyfriend's Batmobile
You go, girl. There's one fucker who'll think twice about double-dipping his wick again.
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Woman sells Cheating Boyfriend's Batmobile
You go, girl. There's one fucker who'll think twice about double-dipping his wick again.
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...and now I'm laughing like a loon
Tuesday, August 25th, 2015 02:18 pm.
Ever wanted to know what Mambo No. 5 would sound like if it were played completely on bicycle horns? Well, now you can.
You're welcome.
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Ever wanted to know what Mambo No. 5 would sound like if it were played completely on bicycle horns? Well, now you can.
You're welcome.
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Oh, that ice cream suit...
Sunday, July 26th, 2015 07:00 am.
Came across this bit of silly while cleaning out my old LJ reply emails. It was a comment Tig posted as a reply to a crossover challenge: Miami Vice and They Might Be Giants.
Really. What were these people thinking?
Regardless, this is the ficlet I came up with. Enjoy, LOLOL.
If anyone can come up with a title for this, I'd love to hear it.
"Fuck!"
That didn't sound like a compliment. Ric raised his head. "What is it now?"
"This isn't gonna work, Tubbs." Sonny scrubbed his face with his hands, making a scratchy sound against his perpetual five-o-clock shadow.
"Why not?" What the fuck, white boy always had some kinda problem.
"Look, I appreciate the offer, but... You got some weird-ass taste in music, my friend." Crockett grabbed a pillow and threw it at the stereo. "I mean, I'm all for the occasional kink, but hearing over and over again how I'm gettin' older every minute isn't exactly conducive, if you catch my drift."
Ricardo rolled his eyes, sat up and stretched his jaw muscles. Sonny wasn't exactly quick. "So what instead?"
Crockett got up. "Nah, out of time. Deal's going down in twenty and we gotta be there." He pulled on his pants and reached for his cigarettes...
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Came across this bit of silly while cleaning out my old LJ reply emails. It was a comment Tig posted as a reply to a crossover challenge: Miami Vice and They Might Be Giants.
Really. What were these people thinking?
Regardless, this is the ficlet I came up with. Enjoy, LOLOL.
If anyone can come up with a title for this, I'd love to hear it.
"Fuck!"
That didn't sound like a compliment. Ric raised his head. "What is it now?"
"This isn't gonna work, Tubbs." Sonny scrubbed his face with his hands, making a scratchy sound against his perpetual five-o-clock shadow.
"Why not?" What the fuck, white boy always had some kinda problem.
"Look, I appreciate the offer, but... You got some weird-ass taste in music, my friend." Crockett grabbed a pillow and threw it at the stereo. "I mean, I'm all for the occasional kink, but hearing over and over again how I'm gettin' older every minute isn't exactly conducive, if you catch my drift."
Ricardo rolled his eyes, sat up and stretched his jaw muscles. Sonny wasn't exactly quick. "So what instead?"
Crockett got up. "Nah, out of time. Deal's going down in twenty and we gotta be there." He pulled on his pants and reached for his cigarettes...
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Tags:
The beautiful gringo
Monday, July 20th, 2015 08:39 am.
Looking up Josh's page on Wikipedia, I was struck by the following:
His father is of half Irish (Dingle peninsula) and half German ancestry, and his mother is of Swedish and Norwegian descent.
My first reaction on reading that?
Holy shit, this guy is really, really WHITE.
I mean, I thought Cumberbatch was white, but Josh is a fucking cornucopia of eggshell. Damn.
Now, this is not a complaint, mind you. I've always had a terrible weakness for pretty gringos. I'll let the Black Girls from Hair explain the appeal:
White Boys - Hair
White boys are so pretty, skin as smooth as milk
White boys are so pretty, hair like shiny silk
White boys give me goosebumps, white boys give me chills
When they touch my shoulder, that's the touch that kills...
White boys are so groovy, white boys are so tough
Every time they're near me, just can't get enough
White boys are so pretty, white boys are so sweet
White boys drive me crazy, drive me indiscreet
White boys are so sexy, legs so long and lean
Love those sprayed-on trousers, love the love machine...
White boys are so lovely, beautiful as girls
Love to run my fingers and toes through all their curls
Give me a tall, a lean, a sexy, a pretty, a groovy, a juicy
White boy...
Oh yeah. Give me a tall drink of water with deep, pretty eyes and a mouth that won't quit. Mm, hm...oh, yeah.
Looking up Josh's page on Wikipedia, I was struck by the following:
His father is of half Irish (Dingle peninsula) and half German ancestry, and his mother is of Swedish and Norwegian descent.
My first reaction on reading that?
Holy shit, this guy is really, really WHITE.
I mean, I thought Cumberbatch was white, but Josh is a fucking cornucopia of eggshell. Damn.
Now, this is not a complaint, mind you. I've always had a terrible weakness for pretty gringos. I'll let the Black Girls from Hair explain the appeal:
White Boys - Hair
White boys are so pretty, skin as smooth as milk
White boys are so pretty, hair like shiny silk
White boys give me goosebumps, white boys give me chills
When they touch my shoulder, that's the touch that kills...
White boys are so groovy, white boys are so tough
Every time they're near me, just can't get enough
White boys are so pretty, white boys are so sweet
White boys drive me crazy, drive me indiscreet
White boys are so sexy, legs so long and lean
Love those sprayed-on trousers, love the love machine...
White boys are so lovely, beautiful as girls
Love to run my fingers and toes through all their curls
Give me a tall, a lean, a sexy, a pretty, a groovy, a juicy
White boy...
Oh yeah. Give me a tall drink of water with deep, pretty eyes and a mouth that won't quit. Mm, hm...oh, yeah.
The Donald Trump of gender relations strikes again...
Saturday, June 20th, 2015 04:14 pm.
Of course Richard Dawkins comes to Tim Hunt's defense: Protesting sexism isn’t a “baying witch-hunt,” except in his own mind
Jesus, Dawkins had better get himself checked out. That case of Foot In Mouth Disease is getting worse every day.
Of course Richard Dawkins comes to Tim Hunt's defense: Protesting sexism isn’t a “baying witch-hunt,” except in his own mind
Jesus, Dawkins had better get himself checked out. That case of Foot In Mouth Disease is getting worse every day.
So an asshole walks into a bar...
Tuesday, June 9th, 2015 03:28 pm.
( ...and messes with THE WRONG WOMEN. )
AHAHAHAAAA. There's one PUA piece of shit who won't be pinching anyone's ass again any time soon.
( ...and messes with THE WRONG WOMEN. )
AHAHAHAAAA. There's one PUA piece of shit who won't be pinching anyone's ass again any time soon.
In stitches. Send popcorn.
Tuesday, February 10th, 2015 07:50 pm.
So Brian Williams is Stephen Glass now?
So Brian Williams is Stephen Glass now?
Just BECAUSE, okay?
Wednesday, January 15th, 2014 04:11 pm.
All at once the Colonel shoots upright with a start...frozen motionless finger in the air..."Piss! Piss!" he shouts..."My prostate!...." With his eyes locked in a stare as though he were hearing voices!...Here we go again, another song and dance! Then he pokes around his underpants, sticks his finger in his butt...and dashes off, he's gone!...
-- from London Bridge, by Louis-Ferdinand Celine
All at once the Colonel shoots upright with a start...frozen motionless finger in the air..."Piss! Piss!" he shouts..."My prostate!...." With his eyes locked in a stare as though he were hearing voices!...Here we go again, another song and dance! Then he pokes around his underpants, sticks his finger in his butt...and dashes off, he's gone!...
-- from London Bridge, by Louis-Ferdinand Celine
